Relationships

Part of me wants to quarrel with Jeff Brown's statement.  There is a younger part of me that wants to hold onto the fantasy that great relationships are easy and always in a state of flow.  But in my experience, his words ring true. Great connections aren't conflict free.  They come from being able to move through conflict and to repair.  A series of moving from harmony, to struggle, repair and back to harmony.  Moving forward in our growth together (but not always at the same time or pace).  

Learning to let the dust settle and addressing a repeating conflict when both parties are in a better place is sage wisdom.

The One Eye Technique - Calming Your Mind and Emotions

 

Rebooting your mind and nervous system can be accomplished by changing our thoughts, releasing your negative emotional attachments or by working directly with our nervous system. When work and life stressors trigger your primitive brain into an emergency response, up to 80 per cent of the blood can leave your the front part of your brain, pouring stress chemicals into your bloodstream. Then primitive stress emotions flood your mind and body as you proceed through another challenge of modern civilized world. All this takes place with the inherited biochemistry of our early ancestors running to avoid becoming the next meal.

The One Eye Technique (or what I like to call The Dimmer Switch) is based on dual brain theory.  I ran across this idea in my Brainspotting training and also in Frederick Schiffer's book "Of Two Minds: The Revolutionary Science of Dual Brain Psychology." 
  Rate your stress or feeling intensity on a scale of 1 -10 (SUDS) Keeping both eyes open, place your hand over your left eye to block input.  For some folk, covering their right eye provides more relief.  So you can give each a try to see which works better for you. Hold for 60 seconds.  Relaxation breathing during this time will create added benefits.  After one minute, rate your feeling intensity on the same scale.  Most persons report a reduction of 2 – 4 in intensity.  Repeat to bring further down in intensity.  Combine this technique with Relaxation Breathing for best results.