tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78685543421279506212024-03-14T02:18:13.812-04:00 ...connections, solutions & possibilities Offering Counseling, Sound Therapy and Performance Coaching. This Blog is all about personal growth & relationships. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace legal or medical advice from a licensed professional.Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-26631060672970175302024-01-11T19:38:00.001-05:002024-01-11T19:38:25.733-05:00Beliefs: Conscious and Tacit<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNhbWnkXblAgSXYCnhMrgrhYq9WnsUz3IG2g_CJKYSAIURA77PEbzjgsiGQ3fD0n66s8Q5HHNtCLfJW6zoXXbs_46Rxu1WgWewXJhevxswBEO_94RmAYMm77hCmUwTH0JFb0iTXFsJekg9OIXfy9IH0Vtvtlu5r9dlRBDn9J6LXEqAcTgrL1LGvSD5HBQ/s4032/20231127_161958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNhbWnkXblAgSXYCnhMrgrhYq9WnsUz3IG2g_CJKYSAIURA77PEbzjgsiGQ3fD0n66s8Q5HHNtCLfJW6zoXXbs_46Rxu1WgWewXJhevxswBEO_94RmAYMm77hCmUwTH0JFb0iTXFsJekg9OIXfy9IH0Vtvtlu5r9dlRBDn9J6LXEqAcTgrL1LGvSD5HBQ/s320/20231127_161958.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />As I continue to read further into the book, <span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Cured: The LIfe-Changing
Science of Spontaneous Healing" by Dr. Jeffrey Riediger, I am amazed at the findins and wisdom. I was fortunate
enough to be sitting at a table back in 2019 at the Association for
Comprehensive Energy Psychology with Dr. Rediger and Lissa Rankin MD. I
discovered not only was he a psychiatrist but also had a Master of Divinity
degree like me.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">His book is a gem. In his chapter on "The Power of Placebo" he writes about the
difference between Tacit knowledge/beliefs and Conscious knowledge/beliefs.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">He postulates that there is more than just conscious
beliefs at play with healing. He defines tacit beliefs as what we would call
subconscious beliefs in Intention Tapping. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">In many of the self-improvement and in performance
psychology books, you will find an emphasis that focuses on conscious knowledge
and beliefs. Conscious knowledge is explaining how to change a tire or reboot
your computer. It is about consciously focusing your mind in a particular
direction or way. This is important and good to teach. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Whenever I can consciously observe I have an emotional
attachment to something it reminds me to apply IT, to breathe deeply or listen
to brainwave entrainment music.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">But ultimately, in <a href="http://www.intentiontapping.com">Intention Tapping</a> when we follow the breadcrumbs,
we get to beliefs and knowledge at a tacit or subconscious level. Tacit
knowledge is what we believe about ourselves, others, the world, and the
Universe at a deeper level in the body, or subconscious nervous system. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Let's take a closer look at my love of playing tennis and
winning. I have won first place in my league often enough to get attached to it
(belief: I should win). Of course taking first place over opponents 20 years younger
also creates an emotional attachment about the rejecting the aging process. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Using my conscious belief that age doesn't matter and that
I am a good tennis player is why sometimes I can perform at a high level when
playing in a match. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">What I consciously believe is driving my perceptions. But
when I mess up or get behind in the score, my subconscious or tacit beliefs
begin to drive my perceptions and my mind and body get out of sync. I start
telling myself what I need to do, instead of reacting and just hitting the
ball. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">I experience this as getting up in my head and getting out
of flow. I'm sure it can be seen in the look on my face and body language. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Using my conscious knowledge and beliefs does help to
manage my nervous system. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">But I also discovered that working at deeper level by using
a one word statement of "flow," addresses my monkey mind and helps me
to return to flow in real time while playing match. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">One could argue that my cue word is just using my conscious
mind. But it feels deeper and more implicit. Something shifts without effort. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Intention Tapping is a wonderful way to access the
subconscious mind or tacit knowledge. I am always amazed at its elegance,
simplicity and depth.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">I like the fact that it can be used on the fly while
playing tennis, during my meditation practice or with another practitioner.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Dr. Rediger at the end of his book writes about the shifts
people made in their lives. He states that what is common to the studies of
spontaneous remissions was people healing their diets, immune systems, stress
response and their identities (the way they see themselves in the world).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Healing in my mind doesn’t mean cure but rather wholeness.
I witnessed my late wife experience healing of her mind/soul during her last
week of life, while her body was not cured from cancer.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Exceptional cases of healing is not about blaming others
who don't get better. The study is about empowering people to participate in
the healing process.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Intention Tapping is a wonderful way to assist in that
process. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Dr. Rediger suggests these areas for exploration.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-What are my triggers?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-What is the vision I have for my life?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-Who can I trust to counsel me in this situation?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-What "reward" can I give myself for following
through?</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNhbWnkXblAgSXYCnhMrgrhYq9WnsUz3IG2g_CJKYSAIURA77PEbzjgsiGQ3fD0n66s8Q5HHNtCLfJW6zoXXbs_46Rxu1WgWewXJhevxswBEO_94RmAYMm77hCmUwTH0JFb0iTXFsJekg9OIXfy9IH0Vtvtlu5r9dlRBDn9J6LXEqAcTgrL1LGvSD5HBQ/s4032/20231127_161958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNhbWnkXblAgSXYCnhMrgrhYq9WnsUz3IG2g_CJKYSAIURA77PEbzjgsiGQ3fD0n66s8Q5HHNtCLfJW6zoXXbs_46Rxu1WgWewXJhevxswBEO_94RmAYMm77hCmUwTH0JFb0iTXFsJekg9OIXfy9IH0Vtvtlu5r9dlRBDn9J6LXEqAcTgrL1LGvSD5HBQ/s320/20231127_161958.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-What will help me understand my value and worth and see
the importance and goodness that I bring into the world?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt;"><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">-Why did I decide to make this change in my life?</span><span style="color: #65676b; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-21210429849093841022023-11-27T16:24:00.000-05:002023-11-27T16:24:15.992-05:00<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaqArP7-rMbdiwOXX6mUf0JI2Rqp6elD-JZKBQLlaePRSmdnOB9_Cjeg4RQfp9kXd1UIhINoR3isPpQdXlq5Rzh5m_k684uV9yXAUzsht2iH57aPU48B2OSqEMloCEvfPjr0meVIIoWQX4RLdOBPLi8R55q7M_Z2MHCaPWGGqLAZjgFJk-_mib2a91MD1/s4032/20231127_161958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaqArP7-rMbdiwOXX6mUf0JI2Rqp6elD-JZKBQLlaePRSmdnOB9_Cjeg4RQfp9kXd1UIhINoR3isPpQdXlq5Rzh5m_k684uV9yXAUzsht2iH57aPU48B2OSqEMloCEvfPjr0meVIIoWQX4RLdOBPLi8R55q7M_Z2MHCaPWGGqLAZjgFJk-_mib2a91MD1/s320/20231127_161958.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />I am currently reading a book by
Jeffrey Rediger MD. "Cured: The Life-Changing Science of Spontaneous
Healing.” I had met Dr. Rediger back in 2019 when we were sitting at the same
banquet table at the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology
conference. He is a psychiatrist who also had an interest in healing and
spirituality.<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">I was eager to read his book and jumped
around and scanned different chapters.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Dr. Rediger first went to seminary and
then onto medical school. In seminary he was looking for answers and this is
what one of his professor’s stated, <b>"The goal is not necessarily to
arrive at an absolute answer. The goal is to improve the quality of your
questions. The quality of your questions determines the quality of your
answers."<o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Dr. Rediger goes on to state, </span><b style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">"The
questions we ask are the guiding light that moves us forward. If we're asking
good questions, we very well might be moving in a good direction.”</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Here are three questions I find
helpful when trying to dig deeper into what values are guiding your life.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">1. What is most important to you?</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">2. What do you most want to feel or
experience?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">3. What do you most want to avoid
feeling or experiencing?<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Many of my counseling clients come in
guided by what they want to avoid. Quite often they value security above all
else. There is nothing wrong with that being your top value. But for many of my
clients, they realized their life was driven by fear and what they didn't want
to feel.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Part of the goal of counseling is to “walk
along side” my clients as they shift from avoiding what they don't want to
experience and move to seeking what is truly most important to them.</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">The beginning point of this journey is asking
the right questions. </span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><b>What is the guiding lights and
questions that are organizing your perceptions?</b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Long ago I was exposed to this old
adage during one of my trainings.</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Our Perceptions yields our Behavior
which yields our Destiny.</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">We could reframe that and add to the
beginning…</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Historic"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">“</span><b style="color: #050505; font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Our Questions yield our Perceptions
which yields our Behavior which yields our Destiny.”</b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-24871218731967697692023-11-09T15:54:00.006-05:002023-11-15T15:26:32.109-05:00Solid Flexible Self and Intimacy<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-GX6gnvyjlEcUtNIMF8i5ZXDsqPtw5wHkExTEmem1YIewqWLMszgGtT-EWeEouf5XbdZmME45IQq3pDJOR-adGAZ1PPhKZT58l-4EOxiLhYMfxWhZ3iLqEYudpo1S73pn2Ak4CiW1LNE5vNovCvuYZ4QezTgDqCDN6xT_xvrtwTXdENHBIA4xKKmzXEOh/s400/ee3f9ed9e1326810444527ba40a7c462fb812770.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="266" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-GX6gnvyjlEcUtNIMF8i5ZXDsqPtw5wHkExTEmem1YIewqWLMszgGtT-EWeEouf5XbdZmME45IQq3pDJOR-adGAZ1PPhKZT58l-4EOxiLhYMfxWhZ3iLqEYudpo1S73pn2Ak4CiW1LNE5vNovCvuYZ4QezTgDqCDN6xT_xvrtwTXdENHBIA4xKKmzXEOh/w133-h200/ee3f9ed9e1326810444527ba40a7c462fb812770.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I just finished reading "Intimacy and Desire" by
David Snarch. I met Dr. Snarch decades ago at a workshop when I was in my 30's.
He is a relationship and sex therapist with an emphasis on self-differentiation
(more on that later). I had read his book “Passionate </span><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Marriage” back then and was amazed at his insights and
wisdom.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Self-Differentiation was a big concept applied to
leadership back in the day when I was a pastor of a local church. It was very
helpful in learning how to be self-defined and stay open and connected.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some people are very self-defined and autonomous but very
rigid and closed to being influenced by others. On the other hand, there are
folk who are not self-defined and are driven by the anxiety to people please
and avoid conflict. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">His goes on to define the Solid Flexible Self by stating, </span><b style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">"The
more solid your sense of self, the more important you can let your partner be
to you, and the more you can let yourself be truly known. You can change you
mind when warranted. You can be flexible without losing your identity."</b></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">His book Intimacy & Desire is less about technique and
method than it is about exploring how natural it is for folk in committed
relationships to get stuck. Getting stuck is a call to grow, expand and find
yourself.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">David wrote this book in 2009. I was sad to see he had died
suddenly. He was a great asset to the therapy and relationship community.</span><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">His concept of The Four Points of Balance is
very helpful. Here is the <a href="https://crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/" target="_blank">link</a> if you would like to read
about these four points in more detail than I am offering here or without reading the entire book. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here they are, but I recommend clicking on the link to go
into what seems simple but is full of profound wisdom and insight. <a href="https://crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/" target="_blank">Click Here</a></span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">The Four Points of Balance</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">™</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">... </span></b></p><p><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">1. Solid Flexible Self</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">™</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> - "the ability to be clear about who your are and
what you're about, especially when your partner pressures you to adapt and
conform."</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">2. Quiet Mind - Calm Heart</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">™</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> - "being able to calm yourself
down, soothe your own hurts, and regulate your own anxieties."<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">3. Grounded Response</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">™</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> - "the ability to stay calm and not overreact, rather
than creating distance or running away when your partner gets anxious or
upset."<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">4. Meaningful Endurance</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">™</span></b><span style="font-family: "inherit",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> - "being able to step up and
face the issues that bedevil you and your relationships, and the ability to
tolerate discomfort for the sake of growth.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt;"></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Dr. Snarch goes on to give examples of how difficulties in the Four
Points of Balance™ create an emotional gridlock in relationships. He
describes one couple’s difficulty in the Four Points of Balance.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">1.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> Difficulty staying clear about their value and worth in the face
of criticism from their partner.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">2.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> Difficulty calming their anxieties and soothing their emotional
bruises.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">3</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">. Difficulty staying grounded and not overreacting when their
partner was anxious or on edge. Attempts to calm themselves down
consisted of avoiding conversation or clinging and arguing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">4.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> Difficulty confronting themselves about what they were doing or not
doing. They wouldn't tolerate frustration or put forth the sustained
effort required to achieve their goals.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">In my own relationship, I have found that working on my Solid Flexible
Self, Quieting my Mind and having a Calm Heart, avoiding overreacting and
having a Grounded Response. and facing my issues with Meaningful Endurance has
been very effective. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">I tell myself and my clients that if you are way over a 5 on a 1 - 10
scale (10 being the highest distress and 0 no stress) then other memories and
wounds are most likely dog piling onto your current situation. We
are wired to be at a 10 during life and death situations. But our brain
can take the past or our fear of the future and spin them in such a way that we
react to our partners as if it is life or death.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">I hope you will click on the above link and dig deeper into Dr. Snarch's
Four Points of Balance™. I believe you will find them very helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><br /><p></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-54616958984353053882023-11-02T18:10:00.001-04:002023-11-02T18:11:46.224-04:00Your "WIndow of Tolerance"<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kMUDyCQl5EQUAulz_ihaTHEGGBzWEaxeDexv_3qnYcRd_jKkKrwpWL22N1irofOOqp1gfKHciPmjv7Dldd_EX83XcRNw6X7zUWbEYcBVLacvrL0xdw2ZgM1sSqz9bi3nUxqJ-CMozoMnRFcq2lj98h8O9wdUv5TOHll60CfpRHlp7ceXjSLgbrT0zdDR/s2588/NICABM-InfoG-window-of-tolerance.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2588" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kMUDyCQl5EQUAulz_ihaTHEGGBzWEaxeDexv_3qnYcRd_jKkKrwpWL22N1irofOOqp1gfKHciPmjv7Dldd_EX83XcRNw6X7zUWbEYcBVLacvrL0xdw2ZgM1sSqz9bi3nUxqJ-CMozoMnRFcq2lj98h8O9wdUv5TOHll60CfpRHlp7ceXjSLgbrT0zdDR/s320/NICABM-InfoG-window-of-tolerance.jpg" width="247" /></a></div><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-offset-key="892il-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The other day someone was angry with me and started to “go off” and cross over the line of my tolerance. I felt myself getting angry and about to walk away (flight) and at the same time words were running through my mind like “piss </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">off”</span><span data-offset-key="892il-2-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> or something worse (fight). I was able to catch myself, step back internally and take a deep breath and re-engage the person angry with me. </span></span><p></p><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="47m54-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="47m54-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="47m54-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For me the goal in these moments is to listen to the part of me that is angry, take the information in a grounded way and advocate for that part without becoming emotional driven by my primitive brain. Easier said than done. On this day it was a win for managing my emotions effectively with a productive outcome and resolution. I have also experienced situations that felt overwhelming where the freeze response kicked in and I felt a little “out of body,” spacey or numb. Fight, Flight or Freeze states are nervous system response to when we feel threated or overwhelmed.</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="b2beu-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b2beu-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="b2beu-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The "Window of Tolerance" is a concept in psychology and trauma therapy coined by Dr. Dan Siegal. This metaphorical window represents the zone where we can function at our best emotionally. When we are inside the Window of Tolerance, we can experience our emotions and feelings without jumping into the emotional dysregulation of the fight, flight or freeze response. It describes the desired emotional state where we can effectively cope with stress, emotions, and daily life challenges. Life lived inside the Window of Tolerance feels centered and good. When we get outside of this window, it is harder to manage our emotions, think clearly and engage in problem-solving and adapt to what life is throwing at us. Life lived within the Window of Tolerance means experiencing a sense of well-being and centeredness.</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="fnb7c-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fnb7c-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="fnb7c-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Traumatic experiences, extreme stress, or other factors can push a person outside of their Window of Tolerance. This can lead to one of two states:</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="bm11l-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bm11l-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="bm11l-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1. Hyperarousal: When a person is in a state of hyperarousal, they are overly activated and may experience intense emotions such as anxiety, anger, or panic. They may be in a constant "fight or flight" mode, making it difficult to think rationally or engage in effective problem-solving.</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="8blnf-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8blnf-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="8blnf-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2. Hypo-arousal: In a state of hypo-arousal, a person becomes emotionally numb, detached, or dissociated. They may feel emotionally shut down, have difficulty connecting with their own feelings, and struggle to engage with the world around them.</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="34nj4-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="34nj4-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="34nj4-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In my counseling work, I help clients learn techniques to help manage emotions when they get dysregulated (fight, flight or freeze). My go to tools is tapping on acupoints, Intention Energy Process, listening to brainwave entrainment music, and breath work. </span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="92b7f-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="92b7f-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="92b7f-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My personal work in this area has resulted in better sleep, feeling more centered in the storms of life and a healthier heart beat (my heart used to skip a beat)</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="bcjne-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bcjne-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-offset-key="bcjne-0-0">For more information on the helpful concept of The Window of Tolerance, go to NICABM link - <a href="https://www.nicabm.com/trauma-how-to-help-your-clients-understand-their-window-of-tolerance/">click here</a></span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="dicga-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dicga-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="dicga-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have included a cool visual hand out created by NICABM on the Windor of Tolerance</span></span></div></div><div class="x1e56ztr" data-block="true" data-editor="8cped" data-offset-key="7smdt-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 8px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7smdt-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="7smdt-0-0"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There you will find some more practical methods for managing you emotions so you can stay inside or get back to the Window of Tolerance. Hope you find this concept and practice helpful.</span></span></div></div>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-21058189669949871432023-09-07T14:35:00.004-04:002023-09-07T14:48:02.841-04:00Rough Days<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw6PsPYWFGPzH3jkaOniXte8T8Ej-CRI8Sjx4iB4_LP8F2ud0vlRcWh0b1s6ibFDOyNgeMKPXoyGdI-kvnY-zkum6MwZVDozBSv02kz9d0BkJESBAxPbE7POhGDWWyV0omd0fqaCf4gyy2D8wKINEAdLaYGbqX7VWaZnYRq2aWb5l4btjc2h7GaTAqfD6h/s5312/20160717_153145.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2988" data-original-width="5312" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw6PsPYWFGPzH3jkaOniXte8T8Ej-CRI8Sjx4iB4_LP8F2ud0vlRcWh0b1s6ibFDOyNgeMKPXoyGdI-kvnY-zkum6MwZVDozBSv02kz9d0BkJESBAxPbE7POhGDWWyV0omd0fqaCf4gyy2D8wKINEAdLaYGbqX7VWaZnYRq2aWb5l4btjc2h7GaTAqfD6h/s320/20160717_153145.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I wrote this yesterday for my Facebook Group "Getting Unstuck." Maybe you will relate and find these thoughts helpful here...</span></span><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today has been a rough day. Sometimes reality smacks you in the face and you have to deal with it. I had a break in my schedule to get out of the house and go to what I call my other office, Starbucks (only 3 miles away). </span></span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Since I work out of my house, getting away can be a big deal. My point today is how important Social Space Connections (<i>to learn more about the four spaces of connection <a href="https://www.gcarpenter.net/2023/08/rethinking-relationships-part-ii-for.html">click here</a></i>) are to our well being. I have plenty of friends I can call for support and do that freely. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But today, I am aware of how meaningful social connections can be. Chantel works full time at Starbucks and remembers my first name and uses it with a smile everytime she takes my order (Hot Venti Caramel Latte or Pumpkin depending on the season). </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today that little brief social space connection (where in life we exchange pleasantries and almost no real personal information) lifted my spirit and touched something deeper in me that transcends a rough day. Without knowing it, in a brief two minute exchange, I was brought back to me myself.</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My buddy Lee Monday (who is a psychologist) wrote a book entitled "Enjoy The Ride," after a long talk last night last night, he texted me "life is an adventure - enjoy the ride."</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Coming from anyone else, I might have texted back a swear. But in reading that text, I realized that grief and pain are part of the journey - the ride. It is my emotional attachment to the pain that causes it to get stuck in my nervous system. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My emotional attachment to the past, the future or how things SHOULD be will stop the flow of energy and block a connection to my higher or centered self, the essence of who I am. </span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This doesn't mean that we spiritually bypass our pain, rather we go into it to restore it to flow and balance. One of the statements in Intention Tapping is "I restore the flow to (fill in the blank)." By restoring the flow to blocked sadness (in this case) it returns to flow, maybe a good cry and release. I repeated this many times after my late wife Elizabeth died two years ago. This would often result in a good cry, release and return to better flow and balance (more grounded).</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are angels all around us, the messengers of grace and possibility. If only we open our eyes to see. Even that divine sight seems to be a gift as well.</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For more information on the intention tapping process I use, go to www.intentiontapping.com or <a href="http://www.intentiontapping.com">click here</a></span></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">For joining the FB group Getting Unstuck, here is the QR code. </div><div dir="auto"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh2S36wd0E65I2LWYSdjU3T7SWWZMTljmHQ49z3EzOIlNfHPcDgAaSbx7Dtdk6nPE8mzcDUnae7HpOxofQZUWlXp3G5hopmCCEWKXyNfYiO2oMohBYREpxcn1SjrkVQrfiV7LnMRX75dwGZOTP8FjgyI_mLPV0sEvDVbK1BPTNaZJe7U5p0qc1_2mZ1d32e" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="104" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh2S36wd0E65I2LWYSdjU3T7SWWZMTljmHQ49z3EzOIlNfHPcDgAaSbx7Dtdk6nPE8mzcDUnae7HpOxofQZUWlXp3G5hopmCCEWKXyNfYiO2oMohBYREpxcn1SjrkVQrfiV7LnMRX75dwGZOTP8FjgyI_mLPV0sEvDVbK1BPTNaZJe7U5p0qc1_2mZ1d32e=w104-h104" width="104" /></a><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div></div>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-1501806556263254492023-08-17T19:27:00.000-04:002023-08-17T19:27:09.958-04:00<p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ5Fw79msHilkVO9v30_EOlWCGC0grs9M34fuMiXBoSme1OVv673Gl_9vP41qCjtXO9N7OynucOJ8CN7yqrrvoZM5QAiGWTLjGRK-3B9YlKqsarBzpoTXpOc4EGM45Ifqq6UcxWlT4jUDZqDe6qKNcoPLLV_gT9V51CQ7H-JXn6JmBsUNlJb8vIIwBRw6N/s960/366020869_10159890423746947_9159895820058940759_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="958" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ5Fw79msHilkVO9v30_EOlWCGC0grs9M34fuMiXBoSme1OVv673Gl_9vP41qCjtXO9N7OynucOJ8CN7yqrrvoZM5QAiGWTLjGRK-3B9YlKqsarBzpoTXpOc4EGM45Ifqq6UcxWlT4jUDZqDe6qKNcoPLLV_gT9V51CQ7H-JXn6JmBsUNlJb8vIIwBRw6N/w199-h200/366020869_10159890423746947_9159895820058940759_n.jpg" width="199" /></a></div><br /><span style="background: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Anxiety is often
thought of as something that other people experience. I am finding that many people
have more anxiety than they realize. It may not keep them from leaving the
house or working. However, their anxiety acts like a low-grade fever that robs
them of vitality and feeling good or even great. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Looking
back, I now realize how much my busy mind was keeping my own low grade anxious
feelings churning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought I was problem
solving but in reality, it was worry and rumination. I had got used to those
feelings, so they didn't really get noticed until my adrenalin was really
flowing. Some part of me felt congruent with the height of adrenalin (and as my
father would say) "the joy of meeting yourself coming around the
corner!" This resulted in using food to de-stress, feeling restless a good
deal of the time, an irregular heartbeat and lower back problems. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Over
15 years ago, I began to learn more about the brain and anxiety. The way your
brain fires is the way it wires is neurosciences way of saying that you can
literally get neurologically addicted to your negative feelings. After working
on becoming less tolerant of stress and feeling anxious, I began to rewire my brain
and set point for feeling anxious.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">When I
realized that my worry and stress was rewiring my brain to make it easier to
get stressed, I knew it was time to run an experiment on myself. So, I decided
that whenever I got to a five or higher (zero to ten scale with zero being
chill and 10 being in extreme anxiety), I would use tapping on acupoints or
listening to brainwave entrainment music to shift my nervous system. Instead of
focusing on the content of my anxiety, I focused on shifting my nervous system
once I had a fix on what was bothering me.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Withing
3 weeks, I was going to sleep with greater ease, by 8 weeks I was feeling much
calmer than I had in a long time. By six months, it really felt like my brain
had established a new pattern. I was able to center myself much quicker
(sometimes with just one deep breath) and sit with my feelings more easily,
without getting up over a 5.</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Today,
I intervened much quicker (with my go to shifting tools) to mentally reboot and
shift my nervous systems response to life's event. As a result, my relationship
with food is healthier, my back is the best it has been in decades and my
irregular heartbeat has vanished.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><b>Rick
Hanson in his book "The Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of
Happiness, Love & Wisdom," states that we are designed to be pretty
chill 98% of the time. 2% of the time we may actually need to be jazzed up to
fight or run when there is true life and death danger. </b><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
problem is, as life and our brains have evolved, we can create all sorts of
scenarios in our head that get us to react physiologically as if something is
dangerous, when it is not!</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Learning
to calm an over reactive nervous system is about learning to get out of your
head into your life. Most of the stuff we fear never happens. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">My go
to tools today are brainwave entrainment music, tapping on acupoints, Intention
Energy Process and sound therapy.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here
are some links to resources that I used today…</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">www.Intentiontapping.com <a href="http://www.Intentiontapping.com">click here</a></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">www.Biolateral.com <a href="http://www.Biolateral.com">click here</a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><a href="http://www.brainsync.com/">www.Brainsync.com</a> <a href="http://www.Brainsync.com">click here</a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">My Meditative Sound Channel <a href="http://www.youtube.com/@GregCarpenter">www.youtube.com/@GregCarpenter</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/@GregCarpenter">click here</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Native Flute Sound Meditations Albums www.gregcarpenter.bandcamp.com <br /><a href="http://www.gregcarpenter.bandcamp.com">click here</a> </p><br /><p></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-24916301369670702732023-08-10T20:15:00.000-04:002023-08-10T20:15:12.961-04:00Rethinking Relationships Part II (for Part I scroll down)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitJbSBCpQ5OiHhLLpOFFRERSvqgmfzIL6Nu8o-jnfiSgze4gCBcrz1oMAeJn505hTv9i63VNzOTAGku_r8-sMQRUyyMhYlKgBTmYRHxWdZN574I7ixI8XQM0Jmg6oA1XazV_nGAGObJ58IKHIpW7t7Ac018xlqu5P5BRbW-FTo51PVyKqdJScil5iJIZe4/s5312/20170121_140550.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2988" data-original-width="5312" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitJbSBCpQ5OiHhLLpOFFRERSvqgmfzIL6Nu8o-jnfiSgze4gCBcrz1oMAeJn505hTv9i63VNzOTAGku_r8-sMQRUyyMhYlKgBTmYRHxWdZN574I7ixI8XQM0Jmg6oA1XazV_nGAGObJ58IKHIpW7t7Ac018xlqu5P5BRbW-FTo51PVyKqdJScil5iJIZe4/w400-h225/20170121_140550.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Part II</span></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">When I
was reading JR Meyers’ book, (The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy,
Community and Small Groups), it became clear to me that my perceptions on
relationships needed to shift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
someone who had a major preference for close relationship with strong ties and
deeper sharing (what I refer to as ‘in close’ engagement style), I was
challenged by Myers to look at the value of relationships that can be easy to
dismiss as superficial or perfunctory.<b> </b>Here is a quick run through
of his thoughts and language for belonging and connections.</span><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><br />
<br />
<b><span style="background: white;">Four Spaces of Connection </span></b><span style="background: white;">(JR Myers)<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #555544; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Public belonging</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> "occurs when people
connect through outside influence or an external event." While
visiting my sister in Kansas, we attended a football game between the New
England Patriot’s and Kansas City Chief’s. Of course, the East Coast
Carpenters had to wear their Patriot gear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was an immediate connection with others Patriot fans without
sharing any personal information. A nod, a yes here and there and even an
occasional high five from a stranger communicated that we were in this
together. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Did
you ever leave a great theatre performance, concert or movie and feel that rush
of energy and connection with others who shared the same experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is Public Space belonging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t share any information but still
feel a type of connection to each other. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #555544; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Social belonging</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> "occurs when we share
"snapshots" of what it would be like to be in personal space
with us." This is where you put your "best foot forward."
Yet, you aren’t really sharing any deep or private information. Examples
of this space might be at your place of employment or where you get your
hair cut. For some folk, this might be the coffee hour after worship
service, cocktail party, or some other social gathering. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 3.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">I recently attended my nephew’s wedding in Kansas
City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the reception I had a chance to
talk to many people I hadn’t met before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We talked about how we liked to travel, what it was like to live on the
East Coast, what hotels we were staying at, but there was no deep private
information being shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a
space where we are sticking our social toe in the water to see if we want more
connection or if the space is safe enough to get to know someone further.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: #555544; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Personal belonging</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> is where
"we share private experience, feelings and thoughts without making
folk feel uncomfortable." These are relationships that we typically
name as friends. They know more about us than our acquaintances, but less
than our “intimates.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a
continuum of low to higher levels of sharing within this space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was attending graduate school in
Boston, I took Jiu Jitsu classes and met another graduate student.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We tossed each other around on the mat
during classes but never really shared much information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soon we were talking more after class
and realized we had more in common than our love of martial arts (both
were interning at different counseling centers at the time).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually, we became friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can remember like it was yesterday
sitting on the back porch in Boston at the age of 26 and idealistically sharing
how we wanted life to look in three decades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, he is one of my best friends.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><b><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Intimate belonging</span></b><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"> is the space where we “share ‘naked’
experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Most people have very few
relationships that are considered intimate. These relationships are where
we can share the deepest parts of ourselves, the core wounds, and negative
beliefs we hold about ourselves and still feel accepted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my friendship with Lee, that started
out in social space, moved into personal connection and wound-up decades
later in what Meyers calls intimate belonging. Over the years we developed
a trust where we could share our struggles, losses, fears, and dreams and
know that each other would still be there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There isn’t much that we don’t know about each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><b><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Myers
helps us to understand the value of connecting in all four spaces of
belonging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may have a bias that
anything less than personal space is somehow “second class.” Others may
undervalue the need for personal and intimate space. His thinking helps us to
understand how each space has its own significance and place of belonging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my friend Stan (who is a pastor) and I
talked about these concepts, we discovered that I was a bit dismissive of
“superficial” social and public belonging and he really was less comfortable
with Intimate and Personal belonging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By
wrestling and discussing the concepts we learned over time to have a more
balanced appreciation for the connections across all four types.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Understanding
your engagement style and spaces of connection is important for finding your relationship
road map.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somethings can’t be
learned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But emotional and social
intelligence is something where having knowledge and self-awareness can make a
world of difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you ever have
someone come up to you at a social gathering and they were just doing the TMI
(too much information) dance?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can
see the discomfort in the group when folk are talking about the Red Sox,
weather or favorite movie and someone tries to give a detailed description
about their failing marriage or knee replacement surgery struggles.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">The
reality is that all of us will cross in and out of all four of these spaces of
belonging, if not every day most likely every week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is helpful to know how to recognize what
relationship “country” we have walked into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you are in public space connection and are expecting deep personal
relationships to quickly develop, you will be greatly disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might even blame the group or yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing our comfort zones and how to navigate
different spaces will help to create more satisfying connections and
experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Let me
know in the comments what are your preferences?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Where
do you feel the need to develop greater skills?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;"><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Which
of the connection spaces do you need more of, less of?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-82747851889812735942023-08-10T19:16:00.000-04:002023-08-10T19:16:42.799-04:00Rethinking Relationships<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XSbAb5i85GZSmJbj2BLEg0ADhlb9IzGbUTEkpfwj2MvA_MT-zjfHD2g8rLOtjBdF2Jk3QCaNgVWCYE_d9EDCK5Hg0zu74JqnUHF23TELOfuMuPBbu7I3MJ3ogrEMBXoRld2uTHSHGb_zqFgmjGSiCrNzfrEz2HOWdhDOGtoAMVM6iQJFPY3MjC73i7nC/s715/Screenshot_20230810-183450_Gallery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="652" data-original-width="715" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XSbAb5i85GZSmJbj2BLEg0ADhlb9IzGbUTEkpfwj2MvA_MT-zjfHD2g8rLOtjBdF2Jk3QCaNgVWCYE_d9EDCK5Hg0zu74JqnUHF23TELOfuMuPBbu7I3MJ3ogrEMBXoRld2uTHSHGb_zqFgmjGSiCrNzfrEz2HOWdhDOGtoAMVM6iQJFPY3MjC73i7nC/s320/Screenshot_20230810-183450_Gallery.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></b></div><b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><br />Part I<o:p></o:p></span></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">“In a
world of ‘Likes,’ ‘Followers,’ and ‘Friends,’ it’s difficult to discern who
belongs, how they want to connect, and what you can do to encourage belonging
to you. (Joseph R. Meyers author).” </span></b><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Today it is even a challenge to define
who is our neighbor, who are our people and where do I belong. The division and conflict between “tribes”
and ideologies has never been more apparent, as division over <i>beliefs</i> is
prioritized over <i>belonging and community</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">So, who
<i>IS</i> my neighbor? Is it that
anonymous person who sends me an email from some foreign land with the promise
of quick riches or is secretly seeking to get my PayPal password? Is it the
Bank Teller who manages to smile and say have a nice day when I am the 50th
person who has also forgotten to write an account number on their check. Is it
your several hundred friends listed on your Facebook page (for those who
partake) or other social media?</span><span style="color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;"><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">I ran across a book several years ago that
reframed how I looked at relationships.
For me, it transformed my thinking and perceptions in the world of
connection. Working as a pastor and
therapist at the time, I was biased toward close and personal
relationships. I took for granted the importance
of connecting with people in brief social contacts. During the year after my late wife died, I
sometimes didn’t know what to do with all this ‘alone’ time. On some weekends I would go for a hike and
meet a couple on the path that was walking their dog. I would say, “great looking dog.” That would lead to a three-minute connection
and pleasantries with someone I most likely would never see again. These connections are important. Positive connections in social space are
important to our emotional wellbeing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">In
today’s virtual world of connection and instant news, it can also feel like we
are bombarded with a type of connected yet disconnected world of everyone living
virtually next door. Joseph R. Myers, drawing on the work of anthropologist Edward
T. Hall, has shed some light about relationships, connection, and space (The
Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community and Small Groups). He states
that our educational training may have prioritized meaning and believing over
belonging and connecting. I would add
that our American culture leans toward valuing doing (work) over being present
with each other. People more than ever are struggling to make connections and
report feeling isolated.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">The
Washington Post reports,</span><b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> “</span></b><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">While research on the benefits of social connections has
generally focused on the importance of “strong ties,” or the intimate
relationships we have with family and close friends, a growing body of research
is shedding light on the hidden benefits of casual acquaintances, too. Surprisingly,
these “weak ties” (that funny colleague, for example) can serve important
functions such as boosting physical and psychological health and buffering
against stress and loneliness, researchers have found.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">That isn’t to suggest
they take the place of stronger more intimate relationships. Those are also clearly very important. But it does give us pause to reflect on our
own relationship patterns and connections. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Consider
your own need for personal space or connection. If we place you on a bell
curve, some of you will come out on the 15 per cent who have a <b>more
distant engagement style</b>. You are
more reluctant to share personal information. Others of you will be on that
other end of the 15 percent who will have an <b>“in close” engagement
style </b>where you don’t feel like you are really connected unless you know a
person’s hope/dreams, what makes them tick and what is most important to
them. Most folk fall somewhere in the
middle. One style isn’t superior to the
other. They each have their strengths
and constraints. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; margin: 6pt 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #555544; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ligatures: none;">Understanding
differences and perceptions is important in developing friendships and entering
new groups. What one person might
perceive as distant and aloof might be seen as respectful of boundaries and
privacy, by another. What someone might judge
as intrusive behavior without boundaries, could be described as friendly, warm,
and engaging by another. It all depends
on your relationship engagement preferences.
I would be curious to read in the comments your own preferences. I also would be interested in your experience
of social media. In my experience it is
a connected yet somewhat disconnected platform.
It certainly doesn’t replace face to face get togethers. Yet, the number
and variety of comments I received when I posted about my grief after Liz died
was extremely meaningful and supportive.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">In Part II we will take a closer look at Myers
four different spaces of belonging and connection and how they can help us
evaluate our own preferences and relationship needs.</span> </p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-59458196581875825892023-07-26T16:23:00.006-04:002023-07-27T21:43:22.711-04:00Relationships<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR8ogSxJRYm219OireOItk1u2IyKfy4lUOYNQRHCSLh2Az_9wBwytMpVA9NsB2b3ZJXu9xqmfju4CQbKfa9T3TvqZV2xII-tc4P4H1RslaLZQPi5MPZyrPeCH_FDoSRRbokS9S0ASRUzHGVXisPjaq4AvhF7Aop7JFYj5CGPjLJWZzue8T-qdTcc0nB1rD/s540/361935065_826386878851968_2417958200302725073_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR8ogSxJRYm219OireOItk1u2IyKfy4lUOYNQRHCSLh2Az_9wBwytMpVA9NsB2b3ZJXu9xqmfju4CQbKfa9T3TvqZV2xII-tc4P4H1RslaLZQPi5MPZyrPeCH_FDoSRRbokS9S0ASRUzHGVXisPjaq4AvhF7Aop7JFYj5CGPjLJWZzue8T-qdTcc0nB1rD/s320/361935065_826386878851968_2417958200302725073_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Part of me wants to quarrel with Jeff Brown's statement. There is a younger part of me that wants to hold onto the fantasy that great relationships are easy and always in a state of flow. But in my experience, his words ring true. Great connections aren't conflict free. They come from being able to move through conflict and to repair. A series of moving from harmony, to struggle, repair and back to harmony. Moving forward in our growth together (but not always at the same time or pace). </div><p></p><p>Learning to let the dust settle and addressing a repeating conflict when both parties are in a better place is sage wisdom.</p><div><br /></div>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-77234925665868578932023-07-17T15:15:00.003-04:002023-07-18T18:02:52.600-04:00The One Eye Technique - Calming Your Mind and Emotions<p> </p><h2 class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: #9bc3d5; color: #4b5d67; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.6em; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 17.92px; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCgJDj_q0bNDH4QJY97rvm-3bVYKcYi2tJ_JDR0kPSrOW6tjAfP1r0EsdaiDb7hPQRN5AjemFO5rumyZ-dqkl1jc---foPkixc1db-2jJ9KY_ctyJET4lUgviHsSsqeAIo_INl_HmJila_L8Mc7vOZ4WqaWZqPpLbuMnPQCtNa5Go_BpeVPxriiFnnHtc/s854/one%20eye.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="854" data-original-width="611" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCgJDj_q0bNDH4QJY97rvm-3bVYKcYi2tJ_JDR0kPSrOW6tjAfP1r0EsdaiDb7hPQRN5AjemFO5rumyZ-dqkl1jc---foPkixc1db-2jJ9KY_ctyJET4lUgviHsSsqeAIo_INl_HmJila_L8Mc7vOZ4WqaWZqPpLbuMnPQCtNa5Go_BpeVPxriiFnnHtc/s320/one%20eye.jpg" width="229" /></a></div></em></span></h2><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 17.92px; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></em></span></div><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Rebooting your mind and nervous system can be accomplished by changing our thoughts, releasing your negative emotional attachments or by working directly with our nervous system. When work and life stressors trigger your primitive brain into an emergency response, up to 80 per cent of the blood can leave your the front part of your brain, pouring stress chemicals into your bloodstream. Then primitive stress emotions flood your mind and body as you proceed through another challenge of modern civilized world. All this takes place with the inherited biochemistry of our early ancestors running to avoid becoming the next meal.</span><div><span style="color: #050505; font-family: Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><h2 class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: #9bc3d5; color: #4b5d67; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.6em; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-size: small; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The One Eye Technique (or what I like to call The Dimmer Switch) is based on dual brain theory. I ran across this idea in my Brainspotting training and also in Frederick Schiffer's book "Of Two Minds: The Revolutionary Science of Dual Brain Psychology." <br /> Rate your stress or feeling intensity on a scale of 1 -10 (SUDS) Keeping both eyes open, place your hand over your left eye to block input. For some folk, covering their right eye provides more relief. So you can give each a try to see which works better for you. Hold for 60 seconds. Relaxation breathing during this time will create added benefits. After one minute, rate your feeling intensity on the same scale. Most persons report a reduction of 2 – 4 in intensity. Repeat to bring further down in intensity. Combine this technique with Relaxation Breathing for best results.</span></span></h2><div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 17.92px; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em style="line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><h2 class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: #9bc3d5; color: #4b5d67; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.6em; font-style: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></span></h2></span></em></span></div></div>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-8382907194600135662023-02-07T16:34:00.000-05:002023-02-07T16:34:11.185-05:00Conference: The Art and Science of Transformational Change<p>I will leading a Pre-Conference Intensives ONE-DAY TRAINING in Baltimore on Thursday, June 1, 2023 8:30 am - 4:15 pm on "Enrich & Expand Your Results through Sound Therapy:Simple & In-Depth Techniques"</p>For more information about the conference go to this link. It is one of the most rewarding confences I attend each year on Energy Psychology.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5tsAasrBr8NatjRnff23wX4eZEosTJaZOGhrfcBMkw_szQiG0iIwEn8asPWVzqTyj8yZqgBUzFeRVdCOEP15LZc-gQlCJnRCkd8fYXppjxz-FTRH_CbZGgXOj3g9U8nwJJLXV5YsecEaHGDQpXAPrqn1luyX5Buv9MB3kSSFVfRxrCiRDP_M4GV1nWA/s960/EventPageHeader_960x544px_25thAnnualConf_ACEP_Edit01.webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5tsAasrBr8NatjRnff23wX4eZEosTJaZOGhrfcBMkw_szQiG0iIwEn8asPWVzqTyj8yZqgBUzFeRVdCOEP15LZc-gQlCJnRCkd8fYXppjxz-FTRH_CbZGgXOj3g9U8nwJJLXV5YsecEaHGDQpXAPrqn1luyX5Buv9MB3kSSFVfRxrCiRDP_M4GV1nWA/s320/EventPageHeader_960x544px_25thAnnualConf_ACEP_Edit01.webp" width="320" /></a></div><a class="x1fey0fg xmper1u x1edh9d7" href="https://www.ep-conference.org/">https://www.ep-conference.org/</a><br /><br />Description<br />Learn simple ways to incorporate sound therapy to enhance your work - you don't have to be a musician. Discover how to use sound interventions to work on core issues. Observe live demonstrations of different sound modalities for removing blocks, releasing emotional attachments, and restoring energy balance. We will conclude with a group Sound Meditation/Bath. <br /><br />OBJECTIVES<br />• Name 2 sound tools that can be integrated to enhance therapy work.<br />• List 2 sound work tools for self-care.<br />• Name 2 electronic therapeutic sound devices that can be used with clients or for self-care.<br />• Describe 2 sound therapy approaches for working with core issues. <br />• Identify 2 intention statements for use with clients.<br />• Describe the "felt experience" of a Group Sound Meditation.<br /> <br />Greg Carpenter, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist, performance coach, certified IEP practitioner/trainer, and sound therapist. He uses mind-body therapies to relieve stress/anxiety, relationship concerns, and increase vitality. Greg has found meridian tapping, Intention Energy Process and sound therapy to be the most effective techniques to help people move towards personal transformation.<br /><br /><a class="x1fey0fg xmper1u x1edh9d7" href="https://www.energypsych.org/">https://www.energypsych.org/</a><br />Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-36069982121668730272021-03-18T00:16:00.000-04:002021-03-18T00:16:10.792-04:00Intention Tapping<p><span style="font-family: times;">For several years I have been working with Steve Wells and honing my skill in an advanced tapping process called Intention Tapping. Recently, I received the honor of being named as one of first five to be certified as a practitioner and mentor for Intention Tapping. I am really pleased with the results clients are getting with this newer tapping tool. Here is his description from his website... For more information go to <a href="https://intentiontapping.com/" target="_blank">Intention Tapping Website</a></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: var( --e-global-color-primary ); text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>What is IEP?</b></span></span></p><section class="elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-23e65d0 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default" data-element_type="section" data-id="23e65d0" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4c4f53; position: relative;"><div class="elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; max-width: 1140px; position: relative;"><div class="elementor-row" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; width: 1140px;"><div class="elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9294b03" data-element_type="column" data-id="9294b03" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; min-height: 1px; position: relative; width: 1140px;"><div class="elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; padding: 10px; position: relative; width: 1140px;"><div class="elementor-widget-wrap" style="align-content: flex-start; box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; position: relative; width: 1120px;"><div class="elementor-element elementor-element-5b80a40 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor" data-element_type="widget" data-id="5b80a40" data-widget_type="text-editor.default" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: var( --e-global-color-text ); position: relative; width: 1120px;"><div class="elementor-widget-container" style="box-sizing: border-box; transition: background 0.3s ease 0s, border 0.3s ease 0s, border-radius 0.3s ease 0s, box-shadow 0.3s ease 0s, -webkit-border-radius 0.3s ease 0s, -webkit-box-shadow 0.3s ease 0s;"><div class="elementor-text-editor elementor-clearfix" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>IEP is a simple yet powerful process developed by Steve Wells that combines specific <span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">definite </span></b></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">intentions </span><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">with tapping for rapid emotional relief. The intentions used in IEP act as commands to </span></b></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>your unconscious mind to release the emotional attachments which are causing your problems, </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>to unblock the energy disturbances and restore your life energy to flow. This gentle and natural </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>process often results in rapid positive shifts in thinking and feeling, restores you to calm clarity, </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>and empowers you to move forward with confidence.</b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><br /></b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>IEP combines tapping with specific definite intentions that act as commands to your </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">unconscious mind to release the emotional attachments behind your </span><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">problems and restore </span></b></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">your body energy back to flow. </span><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );">After using IEP, you usually discover not only that you feel </span></b></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>better, you also have greater clarity to make decisions, and can more easily access the </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>personal power to achieve your goals. In this way, IEP can be a powerful tool for peak </b></span></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span style="color: var( --e-global-color-text );"><span style="font-family: times;"><b>performance as well as for emotional healing.</b></span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></section>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-203608647467556302021-03-17T23:55:00.001-04:002021-03-17T23:58:35.737-04:00Intention Tapping Practitioner and Mentor<p><br /></p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 15px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj4sR3cHP53GTkz5OS8-aF_dXuqNUJTcK1u3tQYfnzQXrHmkrNcFVJB2m4IvFqKs9itOo9cMY8uev_ZqqLoy9GXqY21Yvmk-xY906uHOnStxX9s_haPBaGZmAAXkeg-XRtBAbK1VB-PjiW/s587/Greg%252BCarpenter%252BLMFT-4+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="587" data-original-width="569" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj4sR3cHP53GTkz5OS8-aF_dXuqNUJTcK1u3tQYfnzQXrHmkrNcFVJB2m4IvFqKs9itOo9cMY8uev_ZqqLoy9GXqY21Yvmk-xY906uHOnStxX9s_haPBaGZmAAXkeg-XRtBAbK1VB-PjiW/w194-h200/Greg%252BCarpenter%252BLMFT-4+%25284%2529.jpg" width="194" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;">"I am excited and proud to be able to introduce to you our first 5 Intention Tapping Practitioners!</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="l9j0dhe7" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><div class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl" role="button" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><span style="color: #f1765e; font-family: inherit; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div></span></span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="l9j0dhe7" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><div class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl" role="button" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><span style="color: #f1765e; font-family: inherit; font-weight: bold;">Congratulations</span></div><div class="n00je7tq arfg74bv qs9ysxi8 k77z8yql i09qtzwb n7fi1qx3 b5wmifdl hzruof5a pmk7jnqg j9ispegn kr520xx4 c5ndavph art1omkt ot9fgl3s" data-visualcompletion="ignore" style="border-radius: 4px; font-family: inherit; inset: -2px -4px; opacity: 0; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; transition-duration: var(--fds-duration-extra-extra-short-out); transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: var(--fds-animation-fade-out);"></div></span></span> to <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1038756423206437/user/713939052/?__cft__[0]=AZUC8z5Z-xV-vyfxPYn_7ud48rJoiSQlpjz1ApXpbj4kNAlY2JeeTiOOGdt3ARDuM10AtUWTibDIuBGAIqpPYKXE__U2bhIHJVJG_CKoA2TYkBYj0zMPYo7bwttMBj71spxvD7Y8uLONrwNriEiVpRmakwjkNGIQT0HHxTmMX2akQkoq98c0oUGuB4IBC2T8xRM&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Andy Hunt</div></a></span>, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1038756423206437/user/100000278598524/?__cft__[0]=AZUC8z5Z-xV-vyfxPYn_7ud48rJoiSQlpjz1ApXpbj4kNAlY2JeeTiOOGdt3ARDuM10AtUWTibDIuBGAIqpPYKXE__U2bhIHJVJG_CKoA2TYkBYj0zMPYo7bwttMBj71spxvD7Y8uLONrwNriEiVpRmakwjkNGIQT0HHxTmMX2akQkoq98c0oUGuB4IBC2T8xRM&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Dominique Monette</div></a></span>, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1038756423206437/user/549541946/?__cft__[0]=AZUC8z5Z-xV-vyfxPYn_7ud48rJoiSQlpjz1ApXpbj4kNAlY2JeeTiOOGdt3ARDuM10AtUWTibDIuBGAIqpPYKXE__U2bhIHJVJG_CKoA2TYkBYj0zMPYo7bwttMBj71spxvD7Y8uLONrwNriEiVpRmakwjkNGIQT0HHxTmMX2akQkoq98c0oUGuB4IBC2T8xRM&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Greg Carpenter</div></a></span>, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1038756423206437/user/100000092157214/?__cft__[0]=AZUC8z5Z-xV-vyfxPYn_7ud48rJoiSQlpjz1ApXpbj4kNAlY2JeeTiOOGdt3ARDuM10AtUWTibDIuBGAIqpPYKXE__U2bhIHJVJG_CKoA2TYkBYj0zMPYo7bwttMBj71spxvD7Y8uLONrwNriEiVpRmakwjkNGIQT0HHxTmMX2akQkoq98c0oUGuB4IBC2T8xRM&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Shirley Lynn Martin</div></a></span>, and <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1038756423206437/user/100001873056811/?__cft__[0]=AZUC8z5Z-xV-vyfxPYn_7ud48rJoiSQlpjz1ApXpbj4kNAlY2JeeTiOOGdt3ARDuM10AtUWTibDIuBGAIqpPYKXE__U2bhIHJVJG_CKoA2TYkBYj0zMPYo7bwttMBj71spxvD7Y8uLONrwNriEiVpRmakwjkNGIQT0HHxTmMX2akQkoq98c0oUGuB4IBC2T8xRM&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">Sue Hughes</div></a></span>.</span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Each of these wonderful people has well and truly shown that they have the Heart, Integrity and Proficiency to qualify as Intention Tapping Practitioners. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">If you would like to experience Intention Tapping by someone who well and truly knows what they are doing I encourage you to look them up." <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Steve Wells Founder of Intention Based Tapping</b> </span></div></div><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Click here for <a href="https://intentiontapping.com/practitioners/practitioner-list/" target="_blank">Intention Tapping Practitioner Page</a> </span></p>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-73390156572722460032020-05-01T20:42:00.000-04:002020-05-01T20:45:13.217-04:00"Keep Your Eye on the Ball"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQG3Vn-mWefPkWOamIDYxFqMPjxuxq50kG-NQe0CDAAHKFw-vkQdInS9mzz7sCinhWBXiFm8SK85Wpb8a6sqzA8CakQ4_cFVvlzGm7nOBu5OuM0x9Lsl4LdneKEZ4GLzYPu_lFM9rJsoY_/s1600/20190426_225055.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="889" data-original-width="622" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQG3Vn-mWefPkWOamIDYxFqMPjxuxq50kG-NQe0CDAAHKFw-vkQdInS9mzz7sCinhWBXiFm8SK85Wpb8a6sqzA8CakQ4_cFVvlzGm7nOBu5OuM0x9Lsl4LdneKEZ4GLzYPu_lFM9rJsoY_/s400/20190426_225055.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> What is wrong in this photo? If you play tennis, you will notice that I failed to follow rule no. 1, keep your eye on the ball through the point of contact. In the top photo, I have taken my eyes off the ball. It is clear that I am looking forward before I have made contact. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Now why would someone who has played tennis since high school do that? Looking back, I was having a bad serving day and the guy across the net had just slammed two passing shots by me and my doubles partner (which never feels good). Even though my conscious mind knows better, my subconscious mind is directing my body to looking forward in anticipation of the next shot (the threat).</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Right now during this pandemic many of us feel like we have been slammed. These are unprecedented times. Even my 95 year old father who was a medic in WWII says that he never experienced anything like this. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Each day we wake up, there is an energy tax that takes up twenty per cent of our energy and attention (without any additional problems). During this unprecedented time of uncertainty, it is hard to not look ahead and try to anticipate the looming threats. Events, news and too many changes to name can trigger past wounds, subconscious negative beliefs that hijack our minds and bodies into a fight, flight or freeze response.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> There is no easy foolproof way to manage this global crisis. When people start to lose their center, they respond by getting angry, anxious or numb (emotionally remote). There is nothing wrong with any of these normal responses to abnormal times. Sometimes you need anger to help you set boundaries. Or maybe you need the adrenaline of fear to help you run faster. Maybe you need to shut off your feelings to cope and get your work done.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Emotions are meant to show up, keep us safe and give us important information. When we are centered, they drop off a packet of information, flow through us and leave. Imagine if the UPS person dropped off a package and then took out a lawn chair and hung out on your porch. It might be novel at first, but eventually we would be asking this person to leave.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> The problem is when we get stuck in our emotions of anger, fear or a spacey brain fog. We have let our nervous systems go into overdrive and run our thoughts and emotions.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Being self-employed, my mind will wander into the "what if" story about the future. When this happens, I remind myself - "it is not happening now." I check in with myself to discern the difference between planning, problem solving and worrying. Most of the time, it is worry. If I catch it early enough, redirecting my thoughts brings me back to center. If my story about the future grabs hold of my nervous system, then I shift to brainstorming ways to reboot my mind and body.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> My favorite go to tools when this happens is exercise (usually tennis), tapping on acupoints while I focus on my thoughts, feelings or body sensations, listening to relaxing brainwave entrainment music or playing many of my sound therapy instruments. I also like to hike and take pictures of nature. All of the above get me out of my head/thoughts/emotions and back into the moment. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Today, Facebook popped up a prior post from 2013 that I shared. It was written by Loretta LaRoche, who is a Wellness advocate and humorous public speaker. What she wrote seven years ago applies even more during this pandemic.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;"> "Five ways you can live a calmer life : 1. Think about what you're thinking about. We have 60,000 thoughts a day! Many are irrational. 2. Take a news fast. You can allow yourself not to be disturbed. 3. Don't try to fill every moment. You are allowed to savor emptiness and have some unexpressed thoughts. 4. Care less about what THEY say and more about being authentic. 5. Discover your inner sitcom. Become the court jester and help lighten up the world. Loretta."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> In the bottom photo, you will notice that I am keeping my eye on the ball. In order for us to accomplish this in life, we need to know what is most important to us. What is it that we most want to experience and feel? So often we become driven by avoiding what we don't want to experience and feel. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUmklxFPnsrkqALHY3wzlEOvxnPuG8cLS2JzhSBw-MMFq6ZKcKhODlT5O48X-cM08IZ9kxZDxaPA6qqeE6J3JKkA1BiFdlOUazRbHvRxEBwRDUzDKcHwnqHjpErZsKAH95JEacu9N8R2UJ/s1600/20190427_020728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="360" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUmklxFPnsrkqALHY3wzlEOvxnPuG8cLS2JzhSBw-MMFq6ZKcKhODlT5O48X-cM08IZ9kxZDxaPA6qqeE6J3JKkA1BiFdlOUazRbHvRxEBwRDUzDKcHwnqHjpErZsKAH95JEacu9N8R2UJ/s320/20190427_020728.jpg" width="272" /></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;">Even in a crisis we have choices about what we focus and keep our "eyes" on. Notice what you are paying attention to and what amps you up in negative ways. For me, I very seldom watch the Coronavirus TV coverage because it is just too sensationalized and focused on fear. Instead, I get my news from reading; it has much less of negative grab for me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Since I began with a tennis story let me end with a quote that my old college tennis coach, Bryce Young, often says, "Greg, don't let what you can't do, stop you from doing what you can." I often think of his words when I am bemoaning not being able to play tennis as we shelter in place. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 16px;"> Time to dust off my bike.</span></div>
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Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-29641817822992645472020-03-28T01:42:00.001-04:002020-04-19T00:58:00.065-04:00Getting Along With Your Spouse During The Pandemic<div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin: 0px 0px 2px; padding: 0px 22px 0px 0px;">
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<span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;"><span class="fwb fcg" data-ft="{"tn":";"}" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Michele Weiner-Davis</b> is an prolific author on relationships, has done a Ted-X talk and like myself has over three decades of experience as relationship therapist. If I were going to do a video on couples coping during the COVID19 pandemic, this would be it.</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxr7XMh1-tM8rdE7Ww5cL61374urokWDbK7Yp1py3N6Zsz_BLBsBK0fR9Jei_GC9TNa6dj9638W1tHkQATlu3Vj61dvqcfSAPFiZWcuKUb5ZJ-pvC6S5F_ZnRq0o9JJcHQCuio_rIPDcJ/s1600/20180915_193915.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="827" data-original-width="1600" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihxr7XMh1-tM8rdE7Ww5cL61374urokWDbK7Yp1py3N6Zsz_BLBsBK0fR9Jei_GC9TNa6dj9638W1tHkQATlu3Vj61dvqcfSAPFiZWcuKUb5ZJ-pvC6S5F_ZnRq0o9JJcHQCuio_rIPDcJ/s400/20180915_193915.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;"><span class="fwb fcg" data-ft="{"tn":";"}" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Our current challenges created by this pandemic is a time when differences in parenting styles, personality types and values can take a large toll on marriages and partnerships. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;"><span class="fwb fcg" data-ft="{"tn":";"}" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="fwn fcg" style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;"><span class="fwb fcg" data-ft="{"tn":";"}" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In my work, couples are struggling with different beliefs about what Social Distancing should look like for themselves and their kids. I agree with Weiner-Davis with going on the side of caution. If you spouse is uncomfortable and anxious when you drive over the speed limit, you should make adjustments to help them with their anxiety. This applies with the pandemic as well. It doesn't mean he or she is right and your wrong. It means when agreeing to disagree on a hot topic like sheltering in place, social distancing or doing whatever you please; it is prudent and loving to err on the side of caution. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #616770;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #616770;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Back in the mid 80's, I attended her training event at my first American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy Conference in Washington DC. As great as her expertise and ideas are, she is even more of a delight and positive energetic soul with a great heart. Here is the link to her nine minute video on couples coping during these challenging times.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: 600;"><span style="color: #1c1e21;">Here is </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue;"><a href="https://youtu.be/bp2NWE5AItE">Michele Weiner-Davis Talk on Couples Coping with These Challenging Times</a> Part I</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: 600;">Here is Michele Weiner-Davis<span style="background-color: white;"> <a href="https://youtu.be/Jh4hSMBbHJ0" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Part II Couples and Corona Virus</span></a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #616770; font-family: inherit;">There is more complexity here than can be currently explored in short post. Yes, there is a lot of what if's. But the trick is to not let your difference slide into a power struggle over who is going to do what, when and how. Your relationship is bigger than that. It is about your heart connection and desire to feel intimacy, nurture, safety and belonging.</span><span style="color: #616770; font-weight: 600;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1c1e21;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1c1e21;">She is right in saying that these are unprecedented times for most of us. Like early explorers, we have traveled off the map and are waiting for new orders. If you are struggling and feel your conflicts are becoming toxic and may have lasting impact, reach out for help. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1c1e21;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1c1e21;">I have been offering telehealth or remote session for a long time. There are others as well who are here to help couples work through their difficulties. Besides the counseling services I offer, Zencare.co is a great site for finding therapists. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue;"><a href="http://www.zencare.co/" style="background-color: transparent;">Finding a Therapist Resource - Zencare</a>. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Meanwhile, consider w<span style="background-color: transparent;">riting down your favorite calming and mentally rebooting techniques on the back of a business card and keep it with you. When we get highly stressed we forget our resources. Looking through this site you will find many. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent;">Also, you can go to my site </span><a href="http://energizingthejourney.com/" style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="color: blue;">energizingthejourney.com</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> and click on the tab mental rebooting techniques for additional ideas. Take </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">care, be well and stay calm as possible.</span></span><br />
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Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-15936744211196705732020-03-07T19:36:00.000-05:002020-04-01T15:02:38.688-04:00Self Sabatoge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><sup style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", times, serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0;">15 </sup><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Romans 7:15 – 17 Epistle of St. Paul</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">How often do you set a goal to change something and then wind up doing the opposite? For some of us, we not only do the opposite but do the very thing we hate! In this article, I want to engage the topic of self-sabotage and introduce a new method of tapping I have been using for the past few years with great results.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"><b>Self-sabotage happens when our behavior creates problems and interferes with our goals and intentions.</b> We can make a conscious decision to head due south and before you notice it, we are walking in the opposite direction! That is the negative side and power of the subconscious mind! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">In my office folk talk about every-day type of problems like weight loss, getting more exercise and sleep, better stress management, less temper outbursts, managing anxiety and being a better partner. Quite often folk talk about how they start off with great intentions and then end up sabotaging their own efforts to change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">Sometimes we can just make up our mind to make a change and that is all there is to it (back when Surgeon General</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"> informed the public that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health, my Dad decided to quit and never smoked again).</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">One couple I counseled, complained about having intense fights when in the car together but never anywhere else. So, I suggested that they never talk about stressful or conflicted topics when in the car. Change the context change the problem. And guess what? It worked and they never had another intense – over the top fight again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">Digging Deeper</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">But often we encounter that our best efforts, intentions and will power aren’t enough to create change or as Paul identified centuries ago, </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">“…I do not do what I want, but the very thing I hate.”</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"> During these times we need to dig deeper. We need to look the roots feeding the self-sabotage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">I lost a significant amount of weight and as I got very close to my goal, there was this very tiny thought that popped up into my awareness. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">“You are easier to push around.” </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"> At the time, I thought that was weird and pushed it aside. What we resist has a way of persisting. Sure enough, I gained back all that weight in one third the time took me to lose it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">There are four (and sometimes more) subconscious negative beliefs that are at the root of self-sabotage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">1. I don’t deserve it… </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">2. It isn’t possible… </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">3. It isn’t safe… and </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif; font-weight: bold;">4. It will change my identity or who I am.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">There are many ways to work we these wounded parts that are highly effective. Many of the come under the heading of what I call the alphabet therapies; EMDR, BSP, EFT, TFT, TAT, SET, IEP and so on. What they all have in common is tuning into that part of us that feels wounded and intervening with technique that helps that part to lighten its load or heal it’s wounds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">My preferred intervention center around sound and tapping therapy. During the last two years I have found Steve Well’s Intention-based Energy Process to be highly effective. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"><b>Here is Steve Well’s description of IEP, </b></span><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">“…a powerful process I developed that I’m currently calling Intention-based Energy Process (IEP). IEP enables you to rapidly release emotional stress and restore yourself to a place of clarity, calm, and focus. IEP uses specific intentions that function as commands to your unconscious mind to release the fears, emotional attachments and negative beliefs that have been keeping you stuck. It can also help to clear the disturbed feelings in your body, and restore your energy back to flow. When you feel clear in your body and your mind you are able to make good decisions.” Steve Wells</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">Here is a link to an hour plus video of Steve Wells working with and teaching his IEP method. </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0mMABfD3DU" style="color: #09a3ba;" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0mMABfD3DU</a> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Combining tapping on acupoints and/or sound therapy with IEP has produced outstanding results. One person had been living with debilitating symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome for nearly two years. He had typical symptoms of avoidance, hyper-vigilance and flashbacks from his past life threatening illness. This person also struggled with feeling flat and numb. After eight session of tapping, sound therapy and using intention statements, the symptoms were gone and our work was completed (results don't always come this quickly). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes couples go through a crisis or experience that they can't put behind them. Because they cannot let go of the past, they can't fully open their heart or get over a betrayal of trust (sometimes real or imagined). By carefully and gently targeting the past betrayal through tapping and the use of specific intention statements, they are able to digest the past and let it be just a memory without the emotional charge. This makes it easier for a person to work on rebuilding trust and re-engaging in a heart to heart connection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In my own experience using Steve Well's IEP process is also highly effective on performance issues at work, sports or public speaking.</span></div>
Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-5597876420580908952019-12-08T17:42:00.003-05:002019-12-08T17:50:27.798-05:00 "PASS THE DAMN SALT!"<br />
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">(<a href="https://conta.cc/2DWpSHl">click here for my latest newsletter and upcoming events...</a>)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">There is the story of the little girl who was the only child at the Christmas dinner table full of adults. All of a sudden, she blurts out </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">"pass the damn salt!"</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> You can image that this got a swift and quick response from mom, dad plus looks of disapproval from aunts, uncles and grandparents (although I am sure there was at least one adult stifling their laughter). She was quickly taken from the table, reprimanded and put in time out. Only later that evening did they realized the recorder had been left on and captured the table talk. The little girl could be heard politely asking for the salt ten times before she blurted out, </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">"Pass the Damn Salt!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">Listening and effective communication becomes even more central as we navigate multiple expectations during this time of year. This season of serial holidays creates opportunities for joy, fun and play. But unfulfilled expectations quite often enter the mix.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">Communication happens on a playing field that includes much more than the content of our words. Many of you have probably witnessed a person saying they are not angry as they stand across from you with their jaw and fists clenched.</span></div>
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<li style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Who hasn't shown up for a party on time only to discover that the stated time really means things don't get going for another hour and a half!</li>
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<li style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Have you ever communicated with the intention of getting closer to someone only to be rebuffed for being too smothering?</li>
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<li style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Maybe you made a suggestion to change up the holiday tradition and bumped into, "that's not the way we do things around here!"</li>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">In my early training as a therapist, I encountered the concept of Communication Domains at The Kantor Family Institute (Kantor and Lehr “Inside The Family). They researched healthy families and concluded that the goal of all interactions could be categorized within three areas of Power/Action, Connection and Meaning.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">Three Different Goals of Communication and Interaction</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">Meaning (Head) </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">– communication seeks to deal with issues of identity and provide a framework for understanding reality. The playing field is thought, beliefs, values, vision and purpose. Jesus statement in his Sermon on the Mount</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;"> “You are the salt of the earth…”</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> is a statement to his audience about their identity, value and purpose. As a child, whenever I heard my father say </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">"that is not how the Carpenter's behave,"</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> (not only did I know I was in trouble) but it was also a road map for our families values and identity.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">Action (Power)</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> – seeks movement and focuses on </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">“how things get done.”</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> It isn't necessarily about having power over someone (although it can be). </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">Whenever folk are talking about who is going to do what, when is it going to happen and how will it done; the goal is about power and action.</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">When I started driving the family car at age 16, Dad had a rule that the driver was responsible for the car. That meant if a passenger left the door open when I was driving, I had to go back out and close the door. When I was a senior in High School, Dad drove us home after playing tennis. He parked the old Chrysler on the curb and we walked into the house together. Dad noticed I had left my car door open. </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">"Greg, go shut your door. You left it open."</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> Standing in front of the doorway, I looked down at the car way down at the bottom of the hill and then at my father and said, </span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">"Dad, you remember the rule? The driver is responsible for the car."</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> He just looked and me - smiled and I went down to close the door. We both had a good laugh later at the exchange. Sometimes power and action gets communicated non verbally!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold;">Connection (Heart)</span><span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;"> – the target of communication is to seek nurture, caring, belonging and intimacy. The playing field is around feelings, sensations, providing and receiving caring interactions. If you aren't familiar with Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, I suggest you go over to this link and read my summary. Love Languages is ways we communicate our affection and love. </span><a href="https://www.gcarpenter.net/search?q=love+languages" style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;" target="_blank">click here for Love Languages</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">I think this can be hard for many folk. Asking directly for more connection, requires you to be vulnerable and risk rejection (which can trigger many past experienced of failed attempts).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">In my own experience and as a therapist, I have observed that people have their own unique preference. They are usually more comfortable in one of the three domains over the others. This is also true for families and organizations. They each tend to have a preferred interaction domain.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">Communication Domains is a helpful concept for understanding you own communication dynamics at work, home or within all relationship organizations. It is helpful for managing differences and conflict. When one person is targeting connection and the other is focused on getting things done (power) we have a "crossed purpose" communication. Recognizing that can make a big difference in creating a course correction in how you communicate.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">My hope for you all is that in the mad rush to get stuff done, there is time to really listen, connect with loved ones and find deeper meaning in you traditions and rituals.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #555544; font-size: 14px;">Many Blessings!</span></div>
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Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-29143780963262438522019-11-30T22:33:00.003-05:002019-11-30T22:34:35.306-05:00Sonic Explorations Native Flute Meditation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My work as a counselor has led me into mindfulness and music that is healing and relaxing. Here is a link to my second Native American Flute Album which can be purchased and downloaded at gregcarpenter.bandcamp.com (with purchase a bonus download of a very brief guided meditation "All Is Well" set to Native American Flute music is available).<br />
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<span class="_4yxp" style="font-family: inherit; font-style: italic;">Album Notes</span></div>
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Kristin: "Greg, I have an opening in two weeks at Quantum."</div>
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Greg: "You want to do something new?"</div>
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Kristin: "What do you have in mind?"</div>
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Greg: "How about an all native flute and singing bowl sound meditation?"</div>
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Kristin: "Let's do it!"</div>
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Thus our first collaboration on a Flute & Singing Bowl Sound Meditation was born. So we gathered at Kristin's Quantum Health & Wellness Center and were more than pleased with the meditative effect from the drone of her multiple singing bowls and a variety of different native flutes. This album "Sonic Explorations" is a live recording from this event.</div>
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The Sound Meditation has the drone from eight different crystal singing bowls flowing underneath the following different Native American Flutes.</div>
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1. White Raven Bass E Native American Flute F#</div>
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2. Singing Tree Middle Eastern Scale Flute</div>
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3. Singing Tree F# NAF</div>
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4. White Raven E Didgeridoo</div>
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5. High Spirits D Bass NAF</div>
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6. Singing Tree Middle Eastern Scale Flute G#</div>
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7. Burmese Whirling Gong</div>
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8. Blue Bear River Reed F# NAF</div>
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9. Singing Tree Done B-flat NAF</div>
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10. High Spirits High E NAF</div>
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credits</div>
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Greg Carpenter - Native American Flutes & Didgeridoo</div>
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Kristin Johnston - Crystal Singing Bowls</div>
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Photo and Album Cover design by Greg Carpenter</div>
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<br />Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-32369806557934125932019-10-31T12:43:00.000-04:002019-10-31T12:44:52.774-04:00Passages<span style="background-color: white; clear: right; color: #1c1e21; float: right; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img height="212" src="https://f4.bcbits.com/img/a2635882542_10.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="320" />My journey into Sound Therapy and Group Sound Meditations, I have put together my first flute album "Passages." This album is dedicated to my mother Mary Lou Carpenter, whose journey on earth ended on September 4th, 2019. She loved hearing my Native American Flute, especially as her energy waned toward the end. I was blessed to have her love, support and encouragement for so long at 91 years of age.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Most of the songs were from live recordings that I performed at Group Sound Meditations. By clicking on the link below, you can also sample each song with no charge or obligation to purchase for up to three times. This has been a work in progress of selecting, editing, naming and what not for the past couple of months. I have a new appreciation for what musicians put into their self published work. Thanks to my friends and family for their support and in particular to the challenge and encouragement from my friends to get this done! Here is the link</span><br />
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Click below to sample my new flute album.<br />
<a href="https://gregcarpenter.bandcamp.com/">"Passages"</a>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-25964697641504665492019-10-17T14:39:00.003-04:002019-10-17T14:39:31.447-04:00Native Flute & Crystal Singing Bowl Meditation<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0v01tppz2Y0x5VGxSt8guGtR6F5sEGThTlGkU9NWKO1J3M0IkkbjSh4Ms68n3v-aCA-dJLUh6-3W6Sq0qk9PEZwa9CKUFp8gGlG5Sf56M_1FxPTg3VUl2mP74V7F2_12GFtwoTFaRYVk/s1600/burlesque+flute.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk0v01tppz2Y0x5VGxSt8guGtR6F5sEGThTlGkU9NWKO1J3M0IkkbjSh4Ms68n3v-aCA-dJLUh6-3W6Sq0qk9PEZwa9CKUFp8gGlG5Sf56M_1FxPTg3VUl2mP74V7F2_12GFtwoTFaRYVk/s320/burlesque+flute.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Event: Native Flute and Singing Bowl Meditation at Quantum Health & Wellness</b></span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><b><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">When: October 27th 11 am - 12 noon</span></b><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Loction: Quantum HW </b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>549 Central Ave. Seekonk Ma.</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Sound Sample: Here is 8 minute recording from our last performance with this well blended instruments. <a href="https://youtu.be/e1AI7dPG7ck"> click here</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Description:</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Need a break from fast pace, high stress, modern day living? Sound Meditation can help! RELAX & RECHARGE with Greg Carpenter and Kristin Johnston for an hour long sound bath of Native American/Middle Eastern Flutes and Cyrstal Singing Bowls. Bring whatever you need to make your experience the most comfortable; blankets, pillows, meditations cushions or your own portable chair.</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Costs:</span></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">$30 to pre-register</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">$35 at the door</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>To register:</b></span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Contact Quantum H&W by calling 508.639.9106 or email at </span><a href="mailto:info@quantumhw.com" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">info@quantumhw.com</a><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Website: </span><a href="http://www.quantumhw.com/" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">www.quantumhw.com</a>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-11478218134963887642019-08-26T22:17:00.001-04:002019-08-26T22:17:25.525-04:00Letting In The Good<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_KVGB59vS1ZIGET9Kq2SoWxjeSsTsSqCI9e-JuV-e71XSYS7Fi6A2sjK7kIGW_ISs3oB-q0dA8gD9Wkadr4CocRGXZP5A25caMjUz0OjhTs7ZcCyOfSJeD1uHljrxRLDS1jPW0YrfPXX_/s1600/20190824_213418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="989" data-original-width="1600" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_KVGB59vS1ZIGET9Kq2SoWxjeSsTsSqCI9e-JuV-e71XSYS7Fi6A2sjK7kIGW_ISs3oB-q0dA8gD9Wkadr4CocRGXZP5A25caMjUz0OjhTs7ZcCyOfSJeD1uHljrxRLDS1jPW0YrfPXX_/s320/20190824_213418.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #403f42; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Psychologist, author
and mindfulness expert Dr. Rick Hanson, talks about the <b>Negativity Bias.</b> In
simple terms, this means that our brain is primarily wired for survival. As far
as memory goes, it is more interested in putting a stamp on something painful so
it can be avoided in the future. Positive experiences not so much. Unless they
are spectacularly large, the brain is sorta like teflon to pleasurable
experiences. But there is a process to get them to stick into our memory.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr. Hanson has a three
step process for managing your mind and increasing those positive experiences
to stick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1. Notice</span></b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <b>what is going on in your thoughts,
feelings and body sensation.</b> This doesn't have to be longer than 30 seconds.
But when we run from our negative experiences, there is an old saying that
fits, "what we resist - persists."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2</span></b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. After notices your thoughts, feelings,
sensations, if they don't relax a bit, then you can move to using your favorite
(healthy:) <b>intervention to shift your experiences.</b> I often
tell clients to write on the back of a business card their top five stress
buster tools. Often when we are stressed, it seems we forget how to reduce our
nervous system's over the top response. Last month I mentioned the One Eye
Technique. What is your go to intervention?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3.</span></b><span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The last step involves taking 30 seconds
to <b>"breathe in the good"</b> as Dr. Hanson like to state.
After successfully rebooting your nervouos system or getting it to relax, take
a brief moment to focus on that success and sensation, taking in a deep breath
at the same time. I like to add in tapping on acupoints as well to boost the
process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course you don't
have to wait til you have a problem to do step three. You can commit to what
Dr. Hanson calls taking in the good all the time. For more information on this
process, <a href="https://www.rickhanson.net/take-in-the-good/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #09a3ba;">click here for his article on
"Taking In the Good."</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403f42; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I have made a
concerted effort to do so, I can feel the wiring of my brain and a shift in my
default perceptions within a few weeks. Now that I think about it, I have had a
lot going on this summer, it may be time to recommit to this process. Who is up
for an experiment?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-61634043307318174562019-08-14T22:06:00.001-04:002019-08-14T22:06:54.499-04:00August Sound Meditation <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8WVwS5skwowHo1H0orfMkrWPg_KWXDZPLG-XSADDnNuP0GaOPUtqbLAWIMqudLdDh-_79nr8IBEKov_Zc1y7viRniqxIWcMIzH_BgMun5B0FgrK8BQnG_bXLIjB0NUEitF5HVF9fUcPJ/s1600/20180311_003837+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="687" data-original-width="593" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8WVwS5skwowHo1H0orfMkrWPg_KWXDZPLG-XSADDnNuP0GaOPUtqbLAWIMqudLdDh-_79nr8IBEKov_Zc1y7viRniqxIWcMIzH_BgMun5B0FgrK8BQnG_bXLIjB0NUEitF5HVF9fUcPJ/s200/20180311_003837+%25281%2529.jpg" width="172" /></a></div>
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<b>“ Waning Crescent Moon Gong & Bowl Sound Bath”</b></h2>
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<b><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /></b>After participating in The Gong Summit during the first week in July, I am excited to continue to create with my my new gong setup (36 inch Chau Gong with a powerful deep bass, 24 inch Heng Gong which is the sonic psychedelic in the gong world and Noah Bells). This will be added to my already existing three gongs, singing bowls, flute playing and other accent instruments.<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />I will intuitively design a flow that will provide you the opportunity to receive what you need from this event. Sound Meditations can move scattered energy, expand consciousness, reduce stress and shift stuck thoughts and energy. </div>
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For a sample check out my YouTube Channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRwZQs_zaCBr_bM-uqqJFLg?view_as=public" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRwZQs_zaCBr_bM-uqqJFLg?view_as=public</a></div>
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Cost: $35</div>
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Date: August 25th<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />Time: 7:00 – 8:30 pm<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />Ticket Link: please note sound bath in comments<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /><a href="http://www.paypal.me/TheSoulPurpose/35" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">www.paypal.me/TheSoulPurpose/35</a></div>
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What You Get…<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />• Sound Bath with Sun, Wind and Burmese Whirling Gongs, Himalayan Singing Bowls and Native Flutes<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />• Experience the Deepening Relaxation Effect of Harmonic Sounds<br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />• Energetic Release, Renewal & Movement <br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />• Move Stuck Energy and Shift in Consciousness</div>
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Kindly RSVP to JESSICA KOZAK: <br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /><a href="mailto:ANGELICGUIDANCEREADINGS@GMAIL.COM" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">ANGELICGUIDANCEREADINGS@GMAIL.COM</a><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" /><a href="http://www.paypal.me/TheSoulPurpose/35" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">www.paypal.me/TheSoulPurpose/35</a><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;" />please put in notes Sound Bath</div>
Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-63061357267217168472019-06-05T23:43:00.003-04:002019-06-05T23:43:54.027-04:00Introducing My YouTube Channel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWGFuWpZSeKT9ghE3Fg6qdipatOxJXW6kT4JHXV0y4FdGCqUcWAiu9731CyOBPYwOETSiCEeK3xr2QnKYvntM0M_6aRYotWDn4aE03izTMGep1L_kHX8S8IAv2g_yxf8CZ8n6eNveQpUbX/s1600/20190526_152505.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1019" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWGFuWpZSeKT9ghE3Fg6qdipatOxJXW6kT4JHXV0y4FdGCqUcWAiu9731CyOBPYwOETSiCEeK3xr2QnKYvntM0M_6aRYotWDn4aE03izTMGep1L_kHX8S8IAv2g_yxf8CZ8n6eNveQpUbX/s200/20190526_152505.jpg" width="126" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-family: "roboto" , "robotodraft" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">I am looking to get more subscribers for my YouTube Channel. If you are looking for recordings of relaxation and entrainment music, then this channel maybe worth visiting. Flute, Hand Drums, Didgeridoo, Himalayan Singing Bowls and Gongs (among other instruments to numerous to name) make up the harmonic recordings. Here is the link to my YouTube Channel. </span><br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRwZQs_zaCBr_bM-uqqJFLg?view_as=public" rel="nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #1a73e8; cursor: pointer; font-family: Roboto, RobotoDraft, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRwZQs_zaCBr_bM-uqqJFLg?view_as=public</a><br />
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I'm grinning in this headphone selfie because I am playing in my backyard recording natures offerings for the afternoon. My most recent recording listed on my channel is my bass flute combined with my backyard recording. Let me know your response!<br />
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Please feel free to respond with what you like to hear more of for creating stress reduction, relaxation and centering. Currently, I am working on some guided meditation and combining various instruments with nature sounds.<br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, here is a link to my latest newsletter <a href="https://conta.cc/2QMkkFd">click here</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-7449477338864498082019-05-29T15:21:00.003-04:002019-05-29T15:21:45.358-04:00Full Moon Gong & Singing Bowl Sound Bath<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="3ukvh" data-offset-key="6vpna-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6n-HxYrivu8hMNYZyB0MC3vLNVVEiK4e4OWV-AWRyOr7yNBW5pmrB2Dkx0qYwEQBZEyAJttRhaODAr3VWA3fnr_JtUQrT1NaRCuo8ox-hexCjy7pf_Fzv9LZTDXzCwl_NommVS2q5ixg4/s1600/20190526_152505.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1019" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6n-HxYrivu8hMNYZyB0MC3vLNVVEiK4e4OWV-AWRyOr7yNBW5pmrB2Dkx0qYwEQBZEyAJttRhaODAr3VWA3fnr_JtUQrT1NaRCuo8ox-hexCjy7pf_Fzv9LZTDXzCwl_NommVS2q5ixg4/s200/20190526_152505.jpg" width="126" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">I am still basking in the glow of a transformative week and "energetic high" after attending and presenting at the 21st. International Energy Psychology Conference in New Mexico. My Learning Lab was on "Integrating Sound Therapy in Your Practice." As part of the Learning Lab there was a twenty minute sound bath. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="4fikb-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm excited to offer another Sound Bath/Meditation locally on the 13th of June. It will be another opportunity to move emotions, energy and impact your nervous system in positive ways. Some folk report feeling more relaxed than they thought possible, many talk about shifts in consciousness/spiritual experiences and some describe significant reduction of physical pain. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ei4qt-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">There is no way to promise what you will experience. But we do know that the magical sounds of harmonic resonances helps to move emotions, energy and thus impact our psychological, spiritual and physical experience. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="c427t-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">“Full Moon Gong & Singing Bowl Sound Bath” </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="e6ca7-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">…healing vibrations - your soul on sound</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="ct4c-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Cost: $35</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="bjdc8-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Date: Thursday June 13th</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="pvm9-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Time: 7:00 – 8:30 pm</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="1esim-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">What You Get…</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="39j5j-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">• Sound Bath with Sun, Wind and Burmese Whirling Gongs, Himalayan Singing Bowls and Native Flutes</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5himr-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">• Experience the Deepening Relaxation Effect of Harmonic Sounds</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="bkkjr-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">• Energetic Release, Renewal & Movement </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="1n7f9-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">• Move Stuck Energy and Shift in Consciousness </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9jd1f-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">CONTACT JESSICA KOZAK: (774) 264-1329 OR TEXT</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5sn4l-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">ANGELICGUIDANCEREADING@GMAIL.COM</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="eeorc-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Location: The Soul Purpose 1225 GAR Highway Swansea, Ma. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="1fsbg-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Leader: Greg Carpenter LMFT </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="4tveh-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">Tapping Therapy & Healing Sound Work</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="egog3-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">gdcconsulting@comcast.net or 401.265.2951 (or text)</span></div>
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Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7868554342127950621.post-43102837598714195012019-04-09T12:56:00.000-04:002019-04-09T13:21:28.157-04:00Quieting Your Minds Negative Stories <div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="2v2f2" data-offset-key="7kfuc-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9JqgAcXXAUkj4uZ1i9zXVpwHSNLYiA1F3aRHc2Mfe09hhZYWgl12gE3XT82TxW5uUtrHOIR9elIShmisz512SdgkQwkkspvQ48YeusNYGSNuVDtFvqLqD9ErvfZjYM1Ir-fQZzdrQrpBc/s1600/Gong+Camp+b%2526w+me+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="447" data-original-width="364" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9JqgAcXXAUkj4uZ1i9zXVpwHSNLYiA1F3aRHc2Mfe09hhZYWgl12gE3XT82TxW5uUtrHOIR9elIShmisz512SdgkQwkkspvQ48YeusNYGSNuVDtFvqLqD9ErvfZjYM1Ir-fQZzdrQrpBc/s200/Gong+Camp+b%2526w+me+%25283%2529.jpg" width="162" /></a></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7kfuc-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">There are some fancy names for what I will be teaching in my workshop on April 20th (<a href="http://www.gcarpenter.net/2019/04/introduction-to-sound-therapy-and-self.html" target="_blank">click here for more information on this workshop</a>), Ambient Mode Music Therapy, psycho-neuroacoustic therapy and many more. But Sound work is an ancient practice that science has proven to be highly effective in creating a relaxed state. Being free of a "fight, flight or freeze" response or anxiety is the beginning of positive shifts and movement. As one instructor of mine is always saying, "movement is life."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Harmonics music or sounds can help you to naturally pacify your nasty internal stories and conditioning. </span><a href="http://www.gcarpenter.net/2011/09/our-brains-negativity-bias.html" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">Click here for a short post on your Brain's Negativity Bias</a> <span style="font-family: inherit;">My day started with feeling off, in a funk. Immediately, I went up into my head and started searching for all the reasons I might feel this way. Of course, your mind will oblige and create all sorts of reasons to match your feelings. Mental stories then feed negative emotions which in turn feed more negative perceptions and thoughts. As many say in my field, "when you are in your head your dead." </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I noticed that I was getting up in my head, I sat briefly with my feelings, often that will create a shift. But today it didn't, so I went over and stood in front of my gong and and played a low drone for about ten minutes. I could feed the my mind quieting down and the sound beginning to wash over me and to create a shift in my feelings and thoughts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">To be clear, playing for ten minutes didn't get me to a state of bliss. But it did create the movement that shifted my energy. Sometimes, that is all we need. Something to wash over us and to create a shift.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Everyone doesn't have a 32 inch Sun Gong in their living room. This workshop is about teaching you the various instruments, harmonic sounds and recordings that can create a similar shift.</span></div>
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For example you can go to my youtube channel and listen to live recordings of Sound Baths. Here is a short sample from Three Gongs (with gongs always sounds better with good headphones)<br />
Click here <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soyUa-Rg6f0" target="_blank">Three Gongs</a> <span style="font-family: inherit;">For more information on Brainwave Music and recordings that can be helpful </span><a href="http://www.gcarpenter.net/2008/02/brain-stress-and-music.html" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">click on this link to go my post on "What's In Your Wallet: Stress and Music"</a><br />
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Greg Carpenterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13394527913882657479noreply@blogger.com0