Offering Online Therapy

I offer HIPPA compliant Video Sessions for simple and secure session for for all new and returning clients. No download required. Please contact me for more information or if you would like to schedule an appointment or consultation. Thanks you! Greg Carpenter LMFT

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Getting Along With Your Spouse During The Pandemic

Michele Weiner-Davis is an prolific author on relationships, has done a Ted-X talk and like myself has over three decades of experience as relationship therapist.  If I were going to do a video on couples coping during the COVID19 pandemic, this would be it.
Our current challenges created by this pandemic is a time when differences in parenting styles, personality types and values can take a large toll on marriages and partnerships.  

In my work, couples are struggling with different beliefs about what Social Distancing should look like for themselves and their kids.   I agree with Weiner-Davis with going on the side of caution.  If you spouse is uncomfortable and anxious when you drive over the speed limit, you should make adjustments to help them with their anxiety.  This applies with the pandemic as well.  It doesn't mean he or she is right and your wrong.  It means when agreeing to disagree on a hot topic like sheltering in place, social distancing or doing whatever you please; it is prudent and loving to err on the side of caution.  

Back in the mid 80's, I attended her training event at my first American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy Conference in Washington DC.  As great as her expertise and ideas are, she is even more of a delight and positive energetic soul with a great heart.  Here is the link to her nine minute video on couples coping during these challenging times.

Here is Michele Weiner-Davis Talk on Couples Coping with These Challenging Times Part I

Here is Michele Weiner-Davis Part II Couples and Corona Virus

There is more complexity here than can be currently explored in short post.  Yes, there is a lot of what if's.  But the trick is to not let your difference slide into a power struggle over who is going to do what, when and how.  Your relationship is bigger than that.  It is about your heart connection and desire to feel intimacy, nurture, safety and belonging.   

She is right in saying that these are unprecedented times for most of us.  Like early explorers, we have traveled off the map and are waiting for new orders.  If you are struggling and feel your conflicts are becoming toxic and may have lasting impact, reach out for help.  

I have been offering telehealth or remote session for a long time.   There are others as well who are here to help couples work through their difficulties.  Besides the counseling services I offer, is a great site for finding therapists.  Finding a Therapist Resource - Zencare.  

Meanwhile, consider writing down your favorite calming and mentally rebooting techniques on the back of  a business card and keep it with you.  When we get highly stressed we forget our resources.  Looking through this site you will find many.  

Also, you can go to my site and click on the tab mental rebooting techniques for additional ideas. Take care, be well and stay calm as possible.

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