"...connections, solutions & possibilities"

Personal Empowerment thru EFT Workshop

2012-01-13T14:57:00.001-05:00

I'll show you how to use Meridian Tapping and Energy Psychologyto reach your most authentic and empowered self. Learnhow to use Emotional Freedom Technique “while on the run” toremove obstacles that keep you stuck. Tap away negative core beliefsthat tell you it isn’t safe, you are undeserving or it isn’tpossible to release your empoweredself.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique

Click here - My Personal Empowerment Workshop Audiocast

· Learn the Basic EFT Recipe& applications for reaching your Personal Empowerment
· theVibrational Ladder & Energy Blocks
· Identify& Eliminate EmpowermentObstacles
· ResolveLimiting Beliefs & release Motivation
· IdentifyCore Fears and Blocks that obstruct Self Acceptance
· Learnabout the Power of Cognitive Reframes

Begin your Journey Toward PersonalEmpowerment

Tuesday January 31, 2012

7:00 to 9:00 pm

$35 per person

The Reiki Room 132 Central St. Suite 207, Foxboro Ma.

Toregister for the workshop, or to learn more about EFT, please contact:
Greg Carpenter LMFT Psychotherapist & EFT Trainer Direct: ph. 401.265.2951
Email: gdcconsulting@comcast.net

Emotional Freedom Techniques is a simple yetremarkable healing system that reduces the mind/body stress that underliesdisempowerment. When we dream about ourfuture, almost immediately obstacles will appear to tell us why that isn’tgoing to happen. EFT is highly effectivein eliminating resistance, self-sabotage, fears and negative beliefs. Life Events (when we have downloaded corenegative beliefs) disrupt energy flow and optimum brain function. Meridian Tapping or EFT is one of the mosteffective methods for reaching personal empowerment.

Healing Vibrations: Your Soul (Psyche) On Sound

2012-01-06T21:30:00.005-05:00

HEALING VIBRATIONS: Your Soul on Sound

Location: The Reiki Room
132 Central Street, Suite 207, Foxboro, MA
Feb. 3, 2012 7:00 - 9:00 pm
$35 per person
Surround yourself with the healing sounds of ancient Tibetan Singing Bowls. Experience deep relaxation, balance your energy system and open up to the flow of your spiritual self.

My Tibetan Singing Bowl Sampler - click here

Experience…

· Thecalming power of Sound

· Meditatingw/ Singing Bowls

· Sound& Your Authentic Self

· Experiencea rejuvenating Sound Bath

My Sound Travels...
Over five years ago I rediscovered the power of sound and it has clearly expanded my mental renewal tool box. Currently, I am listening to hemi-sync music while I create this post. Brain sync music and other healing sounds are an excellent way to acknowledge negative emotional states and gently shift to a balanced brain.

I have experiemented with the sounds produced by Tibetan Singing Bowls, rattles, cd's, drums and our own vocal chords. Singing Bowls are my personal favorite. The transcendant sounds they produce have been astounding. My collection has multiplied from one bowl purchased over one year ago to twelve and still growing. The antique bowls produce harmonic and rich tones that pull you into a brain entrainment of deep relaxation.

Through these ancient methods for producing healing sounds clients have experienced deep states of relaxation, the removal of emotional blocks and a return to a less stressed - more authentic self.

In this workshop we will learn about the healing paths of sounds, experiment with group soundings and experience a meditative "sound bath" from playing multiple singing bowls. If you haven't experienced the healing sounds of the singing bowls you are in for a physical and mental treat. Here is what Dr. R. Karnhem said about his experience.

“…often you go through Spirit toget release in the body – but the singingbowls relaxes the body and permits the deeper spiritual experience andenlightenment.”

Why Sound?
Your perceptions are negatively altered when your body and brain is “jazzed up” on excessive worry. Every anxious thought floods your brain with “worry” chemicals causing a neurological equivalent to someone yelling fire at a movie theater. This cascade of electrical and chemical responses can over time hard wire your brain to be addicted to worry and anxiety.

Psychologist David Feinstein writes, “For better or worse, your expectations release a flood of chemicals in your brain. Every sensation, emotion and passing thought causes millions of neurons to fire together, shaping your next response to whatever life presents (The Promise of Energy Psychology)”

Sound Therapy is a new name for an ancient practice. Recent brain research can explain what the healers and mystics of old knew all along. You can now re-program your brain through brain entrainment by playing different types of sounds and music. In effect, it can liberate your own brain’s inner resources to function at an optimum capacity. Sacred or healing sounds return your brain and consciousness back to a place of syncronicity and balance.

Join with us on the Feb. 3nd to “taste” different auditory delights. Music and instuments exists that increase brain waves which correlate with energy, focus, relaxation, creativity and even a good night's sleep.

Our Brain's Negativity Bias

2011-09-21T00:39:00.001-04:00

The Brain has what many scientist call a "negativity bias.". This is portrayed by Dorothy in the Land of Oz as she glances about nervously saying "... lions and tigers and bears - Oh My."

You may remember a time in your life when your brain was in overdrive scanning for the next "tiger." Many of us need a daily exercise of brain fitness to keep our brains clear of the distorted perceptions and exaggerated threats that disconnect us from our solid sense of self. You have to wonder if our brains were designed to function in our modern hi - tech, low movement world.

Hypervigilance and excess reactivity turns us inward creating a false sense of isolation and a defensive life posture.. When we learn to exercise our minds (and bodies) and challenge the distortions, we become more flexible and expansive. Through this integrated mind view referred to as "Mindsight" by Dr. Dan Siegal - we experience connection, vitality and an energized way of skipping along the yellow brick road.

Mindful breath work, meridian tapping and brainwave music are just a few of my favorite mind exercises that help to dampen hypervigilance and reduce stress.

Progressive Relaxation Technique

2011-07-18T15:58:00.002-04:00

Sometimes we don't have time to engage in one of our favorite activities for creating inner peace. Kayaking on the Palmer River shown in this photo is a delight for me. But life usually happens on the run and requires "easy to use - while on the go" techniques. Progressive Muscle Relaxation is one of those easy to access and use mind/body interventions.

Progressive muscle relaxation is a method for mentally rebooting and reducing tension by progressively tensing and relaxing your muscles. Credit goes to an American physician during the 1920’s by the name of Edmund Jacobson. Jacobson figured that since muscular tension coincided with stress and anxiety, a focus on relaxing muscular tension would reduce anxiety.

Some folk prefer this method because it primarily focuses on the body sensations and is more active than the more internal and mental techniques. Physically you tense and relax muscle groups over the legs, abdomen, chest, arms and face. Focus on a muscle group and tense for ten seconds and then release for twenty before continuing with the next muscle group.

It is helpful to close your eyes to center your focus on the sensations of tension and release. If your anxiety is high and thoughts plague you like, “this will never work!” Gently return your focus to the sensation of the muscular tension and release. Usually, you will experience a feeling of warmth or heaviness in the body that will also result in a more relaxed mind.

The following script was designed for college age kids and tends to be shorter. For a longer script that begins with the feet and moves toward the head clink on this link.

The Recipe
1. Scan you body areas for tension.

2. Inhale deeply. Hold your breath for a few seconds. As you exhale, allow the tension to leave your body.

3. Clench right fist, notice tension in fist, hand, and forearm. Relax – feel the looseness in your right hand.

4. Clench left fist. Tight. Tighter! Now, gently release. Feel the tension leave your hand.

5. Clench both fists. Clench them tightly. Now relax. Let the tension flow out of your hands.

6. Bend elbows, tense biceps; now straighten out your arms, and relax.

7. Bend your elbows again, now release and relax.

8. Turn your attention to your head; wrinkle your forehead as tight as you can. Now relax, smooth it out, imagine your forehead and scalp becoming smooth and at rest. Now frown and feel the strain throughout your face ad brow; allow your brow to become smooth again. Breathe deeply, fill your lungs full and enjoy the healthy feeling.

9. Continue practicing progressive relaxation with all the major muscle groups in your body.

My Experience
I ran across this technique during my college years (decades ago). My struggle with this technique back then was finding the patience to stick with it to the end (particularly with the longer script). Today, I might add relaxation (brainwave music) sounds alongside this technique to enhance relaxation of both the body and the mind.

This technique works well with folk who are more kinesthetic in their learning style or who need to be “doing something physical” in order to relax. When the internal/mental techniques fail to work, give Progressive Relaxation a try!

Autogenic Relaxation

2011-04-07T15:56:00.000-04:00

Autogenic Relaxation Training is a relaxation method that was developed by a German Johannes Heinrich Schultz and around 1932.

Autogenic training is telling yourself to create feelings of heaviness and warmth in different parts of your body. If you're successful, you will have used the power of your mind to experience heaviness and warmth as blood flow increases. This can be very relaxing.

Autogenic training restores the balance between the sympathetic (flight or fight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) branches of the autonomic nervous system. This has important health implications as the parasympathetic activity reduces inflammation, blood pressure and slows the heart rate - strengthening our immune system.

The Technique (adapted from the original method)

Start by taking 3 deep breaths, close your eyes and repeat slowly to yourself: "I am relaxed, I am calm, I am quiet." Repeat each phrase to yourself, slowly, leaving time between each one to experience the sensation (taking 1 - 2 deep breaths inbetween each phrase).

•   My right leg is heavy.
• My right leg is heavy and warm.
•   My right leg is warm and relaxed.
•   I am calm and quite relaxed.
•   My left leg is heavy.
•   My left leg is warm and relaxed.
•   I am calm and quite relaxed.
•   I am quiet and at peace.
•   I am relaxed.
•   My right arm is heavy.
•   My right arm is heavy and warm.
•   I am calm and quite relaxed.
•   My left arm is heavy.
•   My left arm is heavy and warm.
•   I am calm and quite relaxed.
•   My body is warm and relaxed.
•   I am quiet and at peace.
•   I am relaxed.

Once your body feels relaxed, allow an image to emerge that connects to this feeling of calm.

When you are first learning autogenic relaxation try it when you are calm to see if you can deepen your state of relaxation. Beginning when stress is mild or moderate is better than waiting until you are in a state of high anxiety. It may take several repetitions to achieve the sensations of heaviness and warmth, but the results are worth it.

Autogenic Relaxation is a more mental and sensate technique for inducing calm. Try adding light tapping rounds with this technique to achieve faster results for reducing anxiety and achieving deep relaxation.

EFT & Wt. Loss

2011-03-05T14:30:00.003-05:00

...for more information on the EFT & Wt. Loss workshop being held on Friday on April 8th at 6:30 - 8:30 pm click on...
http://www.gcarpenter.net/2011/01/workshop-eft-weight-loss.html

Practical Methods for Changing your "Mind"

2011-03-04T14:44:00.007-05:00

Challenging our free floating – automatic negative thoughts and feelings is key to managing stress and staying connected to our best self. In Dr. Herbert Benson “The Wellness Book” his colleagues write, “When governed by strong emotions, the mind becomes a filter, letting into consciousness only those thoughts that reinforce that mood. Little else is allowed through.” (p.274)

Our own self- justification for feeling angry, worried or stressed strengthens the mental filter. Notice your reaction to shifting your emotional state next time you are angry, stressed or anxious. Most folk will experience some form of inner protest in the form of “…but this is how I really feel… this is me!” The answer isn’t to deny or repress these feelings (sometimes they are quite helpful and necessary). Rather, we want to notice them and reflect on whether they are needed. If not then we move to create a gentle shift.

Dr. Benson has a four step process that he recommends for stress relief (p. 184-5)…

Next time you are stuck in traffic and feel you blood pressure rise try this…

Stop – as soon as you catch yourself feeling stressed simply saying “Stop!” can interrupt the Negative Stress Cycle. This prevents your thoughts from going in the “awfulizing” where you mind jumps to the worst possible scenario.

Breath & Release Physical Tension – During times of stress most folk hold their breath, physiologically creating even more stress. Taking a diaphragmatic breath can elicit the relaxation response.

Reflect and ask yourself these questions: - Stopping the escalation of the stress hormones allows you to actually think about your situation. You can sift through helpful thoughts and feelings versus irrational beliefs and distortions.
- “What is going on here?”
- “Why am I so distressed?”
- “Am I late or just racing against time?”
- “Is it really a crisis that I am late?”
- “If I am late what is the worst thing that will happen?”
- “Will worrying about it help?”

Choose not to think so anxiously – now that you have stopped the stimulus – response cycle, taken a breath to divert your attention from the stress, reflected on the cause of stress, you can now choose how to respond and reboot your thoughts and feelings.

This four step process: Stop, Breathe & Release Physical Tension, Reflect, and Choose – can be turbo-charged by tapping several rounds on the Emotional Freedom Technique points as you go through each of the steps (click for The Basic EFT Recipe and points http://www.gcarepnter.net/search/label/EFT%20Instructions)

An additional way to spice up Dr. Benson Four Step Model is to add what I call The Dimmer Switch. As you go through the four steps, just hold your hand over the correct eye while keeping both open. Here are the instructions for this technique...

The Dimmer Switch (One Eye Technique)

This is based on a bi-lateral theory of the brain (left is logical - right is emotional). That is an oversimplified explanation. Rate your stress or feeling intensity on a scale of 1 -10 (SUDS) Keeping both eyes open, place your hand over your left eye to block input. Hold for 60 seconds(or as you go through the four steps for stress relief. Relaxation breathing during this time will create added benefits. After one minute, rate your feeling intensity on the same scale. Most persons report a reduction of 2 - 4 in intensity. Repeat to bring further down in intensity. Combine this technique with Relaxation Breathing for best results. Some folk find covering the right eye to be more relaxing. Experiment and see which works best for you.

Last but certainly not least, simply put on your favorite relaxation or brainsync music and go through the four steps with the added benefit of sounds triggering the relaxation response (“What’s In Your Wallet? Stress and Music - http://www.gcarpenter.net/search/label/The%20Brain) Relaxations sounds or music is the easiest of the all the techniques. Just slip on the headphones and run the four steps.

Each of these techniques are highly effective individually. But in various combinations they quicken the results and multiply their effectiveness. Experiment with various combinations for customizing your own relaxation - stress buster toolbox.

Let me know how these work for you. Enjoy!

Changing Your "Mind."

2011-02-17T16:30:00.007-05:00

I am one of the few person in New England who looks forward to snow (except for the shoveling part). But a couple of weeks ago my enthusiasm limit was reached for the white powdery "stuff." I showed up for work to find my parking lot covered in eight inches of slush from the previous days snow. My irritation spiked. I fumed internally, "How can I expect my clients to show up and slosh through this "stuff?"

The landlord was called and I got the word on when the parking lot would be plowed. Mind you my aggravation was valid. But after addressing the problem, my irritation didn't abate. Internally my conversation went like this...

Observing Self: "You are still angry...is that helpful?"
Irritated Self: "No, but this is real! I deserve to be annoyed. This impacts my work."
OS: "But do you need this feeling? Does it assist you in any way at this time?"
IS: "No, but it is authentic and anyone would feel this way!"

Eventually, I practice what is taught to my clients and remembered "the way your brain fires is the way it wires." My favorite brainwave music was turned on and a little Emotional Freedom Technique tapping created the needed shift. But I noticed that there was a definite tug of resistance to letting go of my irritation. Internally, there was an objection, "but you are entitled to this feeling."

Often when we feel entitled to our negative feelings, we fertilize them and let them take root. Occasional pedestrian irritations like mine do not rewire your brain. But when repeated over days, months and years we create an entitlement and a mind that is hard wired for negative feelings.

Yesterday I was breezing through a book written by Dr. Herbert Benson MD. He wrote "Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Belief" back in 1996. Benson is a pioneer in mind/body medicine and in bringing spirituality and healing into medicine. He explains how even innocuous internal chatter over time can create dire consequences neurologically. He states....

“Because the brain is ever changing, we have the ability to rewire and modify those automatic reactions in a process sometimes called “cognitive restructuring.” ... Every new experience, every new fact entered into your brain changes its configuration and your awareness and understanding of who you were, who you are, and who you will be. Because of the brain’s intrinsic malleability, you have the opportunity to literally “change your mind.” (p. 272)

We can change our "mind" toward the positive and we can also negatively condition our brain to scan for distorted threats and negative input. Dr. Benson goes on to state...

“..we develop what Dr. Donald Meichenbaum of the University of Waterloo calls a “confirmatory bias” in which we seek out only the information, people, and situations that match our mood and feelings of self-worth. To break this chain of events, you must change you internal dialogue.” (p. 275)

One of the first steps to changing your internal dialogue is to commit yourself to what I call "noticing" exercises. Experiment over a couple of weeks and check in morning, afternoon, night and notice whether your internal thoughts and feelings are focused on something positive or negative. It can be helpful rate you brief internal check with a low, medium or high rating.

If a pattern of negative thoughts or feelings is discovered, you could blame it on people, places or things (one part of me shouts, "that works for me!). But if you want to restructure your "confirmatory bias," what you are hardwired to notice, then look for ways to create a shift in what you are feeling and thinking.

Some negative feelings and thoughts are a wake up call to create changes or to take action. These are a gift. Of concern is when our internal chatter and negative feelings are excessive, distorted or unnecessary. In our modern high tech multi-tasking world - there is a tremendous amount of destructive mental chatter.

My favorite shifting techniques are...

"positive reframes for negative perceptions
meridian tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique
sound work through vocal toning, brainwave music, Tibetan Singing Bowls or drumming.

More in my next blog on practical and easy ways to create a shift!

Workshop: Friday April 8th - EFT & Weight Loss

2011-01-31T18:01:00.019-05:00

"EFT & Weight Loss" Workshop

Begin your journey toward
permanent weight loss by eliminating the emotional underpinnings of overeating.

I'll show you how to use Meridian Tapping and Energy Psychology to reach your Wellness Weight. Use EFT to stop food cravings, tame your resistance and resolve core emotional issues that contributes to overeating.

Friday April 8th 2011 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm

• LEARN THE Basic EFT Recipe & APPLICATIONS FOR REACHING YOUR WELLNESS WEIGHT
• LEARN HOW TO STOP FOOD CRAVINGS
• Identify & Eliminate Emotional Overeating
• Resolve Limiting Beliefs & Release Motivation

Location:
Positive New Beginnings
873 WATERMAN AVE.
EAST PROVIDENCE, RI 02914

$35 per person

TO REGISTER FOR THE WORKSHOP, OR TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EFT, PLEASE CONTACT: GREG CARPENTER LMFT @
PH. #401.265.2951 OR GDCCONSULTING@COMCAST.NET

Emotional Freedom Techniques is a simple yet remarkable healing system that reduces the mind/body stress that is connected to disease, negative emotions and the engines that drives overeating.

Through tapping on cravings and core issues you can learn how to "eat to live" instead of "live to ear." I have personally experienced this shift through EFT.

During this past year I have lost 50 lbs. through using EFT to handle cravings and underlying issues connected to overeating. I can speak from experience about issues of resistance, hitting plateaus and the power of self sabotage. EFT has made the difference and I am still tapping my way to my wellness weight.

Workshop: Healing Vibrations: Your Soul (Psyche) on Sound"

2011-01-31T12:16:00.007-05:00

Thursday Feb. 17th 6:30 - 8:30 pm. $35/person
Leader: Greg Carpenter

Location:
My Office
546 Arcade Ave. #6
Seekonk, Ma. 02771

more info: contact gdcconsulting@comcast.net or call #401.265.2951

Surround yourself with the healing sounds of ancient Tibetan Singing Bowls. Experience deep relaxation, balance your energy system and open up to the flow of your spiritual self.

Experience…
• Tibetan Bowl Sound Bath
• Sound as a Path to Inner Peace
• Deep States of Relaxation
• Experience different sound paths like, rattling (yes I said rattling), drumming, vocal toning, brainwave music and Singing Bowls. You will be amazed at their power to tone the mind, body and spirit.

Over five years ago I rediscovered the power of sound and it has clearly expanded my mental renewal tool box. Currently, I am listening to hemi-sync music while I create this post. Brain sync music and other healing sounds are an excellent way to acknowledge negative emotional states and gently shift to a balanced brain.

I have experiemented with the sounds produced by Tibetan Singing Bowls, rattles, cd's, drums and our own vocal chords. Singing Bowls are my personal favorite. The transcendant sounds they produce have been astounding. My collection has multiplied from one bowl purchased over one year ago to twelve and still growing. The antique bowls produce harmonic and rich tones that pull you into a brain entrainment of deep relaxation.

Through these ancient methods for producing healing sounds clients have experienced deep states of relaxation, the removal of emotional blocks and a return to a less stressed - more authentic self.

In this workshop we will learn about the healing paths of sounds, experiment with group soundings and experience a meditative "sound bath" from playing multiple singing bowls. If you haven't experienced the healing sounds of the singing bowls you are in for a physical and mental treat.

Backfull Info. or Why Sound?
Your perceptions are negatively altered when your body and brain is “jazzed up” on excessive worry. Every anxious thought floods your brain with “worry” chemicals causing a neurological equivalent to someone yelling fire at a movie theater. This cascade of electrical and chemical responses can over time hard wire your brain to be addicted to worry and anxiety.

Psychologist David Feinstein writes, “For better or worse, your expectations release a flood of chemicals in your brain. Every sensation, emotion and passing thought causes millions of neurons to fire together, shaping your next response to whatever life presents (The Promise of Energy Psychology)”

Sound Therapy is a new name for an ancient practice. Recent brain research can explain what the healers and mystics of old knew all along. You can now re-program your brain through brain entrainment by playing different types of sounds and music. In effect, it can liberate your own brain’s inner resources to function at an optimum capacity. Sacred or healing sounds return your brain and consciousness back to a place of syncronicity and balance.

Join with us on the 17th to “taste” different auditory delights and custom designing your own healing sound toolbox. Music and instuments exists that increase brain waves which correlate with energy, focus, relaxation, creativity and even a good night's sleep.

2011-01-23T13:24:00.004-05:00

Workshop: EFT Practitioner Essentials - Level 1

Date: Saturday Febraury, 2011
Time: 10 - 3 pm
Cost: $95
Instructor: Greg Carpenter LMFT
Location: Positive New Beginnings Holistic Center
873 Waterman Ave. East Providence, RI 02914

Workshop Description:
Learn how to use EFT and Meridian Tapping Techniques
*The Discovery Statement
*The Basic Recipe and Setup
*Being Specific
*Aspects
*Borrowing Benefits
*The Need for Persistence
*Demonstrations
*Hands on Practice

Workshop Comments
"What a teacher! (OR WHAT A SKILLED INSTRUCTOR!) Greg's concise and humorous style made EFT instantly accessible and immediately useful. The experience we shared during the workshop was profound. We witnessed the healing powers of EFT and Greg made it a pleasure to learn. Highly recommended. I'd do it again.

Christina Berard, RPh, MEd,
Mind-Body Therapist

Instructor's Comments

With 25 years of experience as a therapist, nothing has energized my practice like EFT over the past five years. I have been working with groups and leading workshops for over twenty years. You will receive valued content, experiential learning and energy from our time together! My goal is for you to experience that "aha!" moment when EFT works in a very deep way. This class will be fun, profound and an opportunity to master personal use and to begin to learn how to use EFT with others. Feel free to contact me for more information.

peace,

Greg

2011-01-23T13:20:00.001-05:00

I have a few openings left for this workshop. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Greg

"EFT & Weight Loss" Workshop

I'll show you how to use Meridian Tapping and Energy Psychology to reach your Wellness Weight. Use EFT to stop food cravings, tame your resistance and resolve core emotional issues that contributes to overeating.

Thursday January 27th, 2011 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm

• LEARN THE Basic EFT Recipe & APPLICATIONS FOR REACHING YOUR WELLNESS WEIGHT
• LEARN HOW TO STOP FOOD CRAVINGS
• Identify & Eliminate Emotional Overeating
• Resolve Limiting Beliefs & Release Motivation

6:30 to 8:30 pm @ Postive New Beginnings
873 WATERMAN AVE.
EAST PROVIDENCE, RI 02914

$35 per person

BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY TOWARD PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS

TO REGISTER FOR THE WORKSHOP, OR TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EFT, PLEASE CONTACT: GREG CARPENTER LMFT @

PH. #401.265.2951 OR GDCCONSULTING@COMCAST.NET

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES IS A SIMPLE YET REMARKABLE HEALING SYSTEM THAT REDUCES THE MIND/BODY STRESS THAT CONNECTED TO DISEASE. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE THE ENGINE THAT DRIVES OVEREATING.

BY TAPPING ON CRAVINGS AND CORE ISSUES YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO "EAT TO LIVE INSTEAD OF LIVE TO EAT." I HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED THAT SHIFT THROUGH EFT.

OVER THE PAST YEAR I HAVE LOST 50 LBS. BY USING EFT TO HANDLE CRAVINGS AND UNDERLYING ISSUES CONNECTED TO OVEREATING. I CAN SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ABOUT ISSUES OF RESISTANCE, HITTING PLATEAU AND THE POWER OF SELF SABOTAGE. EFT HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE AND I AM STILL STILL TAPPING MY WAY TOWARDS REACHING MY WELLNESS WEIGHT.

Workshop: "EFT and Weight Loss"

2010-10-18T13:20:00.004-04:00

"EFT & Weight Loss" Workshop

I'll show you how to use Meridian Tapping and Energy Psychology to reach your Wellness Weight. Use EFT to stop food cravings, tame your resistance and resolve core emotional issues that contributes to overeating.

Thursday November 11, 2010 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm

• LEARN THE Basic EFT Recipe & APPLICATIONS FOR REACHING YOUR WELLNESS WEIGHT
• LEARN HOW TO STOP FOOD CRAVINGS
• Identify & Eliminate Emotional Overeating
• Resolve Limiting Beliefs & Release Motivation

6:30 to 8:30 pm @ Postive New Beginnings
873 WATERMAN AVE.
EAST PROVIDENCE, RI 02914

$35 per person

BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY TOWARD PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS

TO REGISTER FOR THE WORKSHOP, OR TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EFT, PLEASE CONTACT: GREG CARPENTER LMFT @

PH. #401.265.2951 OR GDCCONSULTING@COMCAST.NET

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES IS A SIMPLE YET REMARKABLE HEALING SYSTEM THAT REDUCES THE MIND/BODY STRESS THAT CONNECTED TO DISEASE. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE THE ENGINE THAT DRIVES OVEREATING.

BY TAPPING ON CRAVINGS AND CORE ISSUES YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO "EAT TO LIVE INSTEAD OF LIVE TO EAT." I HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED THAT SHIFT THROUGH EFT.

OVER THE PAST YEAR I HAVE LOST 50 LBS. BY USING EFT TO HANDLE CRAVINGS AND UNDERLYING ISSUES CONNECTED TO OVEREATING. I CAN SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ABOUT ISSUES OF RESISTANCE, HITTING PLATEAU AND THE POWER OF SELF SABOTAGE. EFT HAS MADE THE DIFFERENCE AND I AM STILL STILL TAPPING MY WAY TOWARDS REACHING MY WELLNESS WEIGHT.

Emotional Freedom Technique Demo

2010-10-11T21:20:00.003-04:00

EFT Demo

2010-10-11T20:28:00.003-04:00

Nov. 5th. Tibetan Bowl Workshop

2010-10-03T15:34:00.005-04:00

Workshop: "Healing Vibrations: Your Soul on Sound"

Friday November 5th 6:30 - 8:30 pm. $35/person
Workshops will be held at:
Linda Hogan’s Healing Sanctuary - 529 Rockland Road N. Scituate, RI
Facilitator: Greg Carpenter LMFT
more info. or to register: gdcconsulting@comcast.net or Ph. #401.265.2951
Surround yourself with the healing sounds of ancient Tibetan Singing Bowls. Try your hand at playing the bowls. Learn about the re-energizing power of sound. Experience deep relaxation, balance your energy system and open up to the flow of your spiritual self.

In this workshop you will experience…
• the healing paths of sounds
• playing different bowls
• experience a meditative "sound bath" from the harmonics of multiple singing bowls
• ways to use sound and singing bowls to nourish personal growth

About the Healing Power of Sound...
In the ancient writings of the Book of I Samuel, King Saul is struggling with “an evil spirit” or what we might refer to in modern times as a troubled soul or depression. In this pre-Prozac era, the servants counseled him to find a harpist to mend his troubled soul. The ancient text states, “David took a harp and played with his hand so Saul was refreshed and was well,…” I Sam. 16:23

David may have been the first recorded instance of music therapy. Modern music therapy has its roots in the outgrowth of a thirty-thousand year old shamanic tradition of sound as healer. All of us can identify with the refreshing and renewing power of sound and music.

My Personal Experience with Sound…
We could talk about the amplification of sound while we take up residence in the womb, but let’s jump forward to my teenage years. During High School, I would seek the solitude of our old 68’ Chrysler New Yorker and sing (making up my own lyrics) top 40 hits to sooth my adolescent mind. I worked in a local Nursing Home during my time at Bethany College and learned that singing old hymns calmed the residents when they were in pain or agitated. In graduate school, I discovered that classical music made it easier to focus and stay on task during long hours of writing and research. During my twenty years working as a pastor, I saw the power of music and song refresh minds and spirits during worship, prayer groups and during times of crisis (memory, inspiration and song was a very powerful combination).

My Experience with Sound as Therapist…
It wasn’t until six years ago that I really began to learn about the scientific basis for the healing power of sound. This led to applying clinically sound to help clients and myself in “getting unstuck” and to experiencing inner peace and happiness (for some a first time sensation). I have found vocal toning (singing sustained tones of various vowel sounds) and brainwave music effective in treating stress, anxiety, depression and painful memories. Sound treatment is striving to create a whole energy brain pattern that creates a relaxed physical, emotional and mental state (parasympathetic). Underneath most mental and emotional distress is a brain pattern and energy body that is fractured and failing to fire on all cylinders effectively. Sound therapy is a method that serves to release blocked energy patterns and improve whole brain functioning.

The Healing Power of Tibetan Bowls...
Oncologist Mitchell L. Gaynor in his book “The Healing Power of Sound” writes, “…the singing bowls act as a medium in which our inner chaos and conflict can be reconfigured into harmonious calm centeredness that resonates through every cell of our body and mind. These remarkable vessels, as beautiful to behold as they are to hear, have become an integral and essential part of the sound-based guided imagery and meditation techniques that my patients and I use to resolve negatively charged emotions.”

Two years ago one of the pastors brought her bowl to a church consultation I was facilitating. Even though she couldn’t get it to sing, my curiosity was triggered. Later, I purchased my first bowl in a holistic shop in Kansas City. After purchasing my first bowl, my collection has multiplied to eleven and still growing. The antique bowls produce harmonic and rich tones that pull you into a brain entrainment of deep relaxation.

Clients have reported…
• first time experiences of deep states of relaxation
• pain reduction and release
• the removal of emotional blocks and fears
• discovering or returning to their authentic or spiritual self
• release of negative emotions attached to traumatic memories

When you stop to think about it, sound as a source for healing and calming the human psyche is common sense. At one time or another we have all experienced the shift in mood through exposure to song or sound. The scientific basis and neurology behind sound as therapy only serves to remind me to lay claim to its power daily. My work with sound and this workshop comes from a deep desire and enthusiasm for sharing this often untapped resource.

"Questions & Possibilities"

2010-09-24T15:52:00.009-04:00

What's Great About This?

Recently, I was talking with a pastor who is serving a church that has tremendous debt (to no fault of his own - it was there when he arrived). Every once in awhile the burden of the congregation’s enormous mortgage would rears its ugly head and trigger an overwhelming sense of anxiety and helplessness.

The other day he called and I could hear the emptiness in his voice. Normally, this pastor is an upbeat, optimistic “let’s get it done” leader of vision. On the day of this phone call, his voiced was without hope, filled with burden and stress. During times like these I ask questions like, “do you want empathy, distraction or empowerment?” He said something akin to “whatever” so I decided to go for empowerment.

The questions we ask ourselves leads to an emotional response of possibility or disaster. There had been a significant change in his congregation’s cash flow. The more he asked the “what if” questions connected to the large monthly mortgage payment, the more he started to connect the dots in a fashion that amplified disaster. Our conversations went back in forth, until I was beginning to think that distraction would have been a better plan (“how about the Patriots?”).

What created the empowerment moment was reframing questions from threats to possibilities. My three favorite empowerment questions that are…

1. What is great about this?
2. How can we use this?
3. What is the next step?

(Timing is everything. Ask question number one at the wrong time and someone may throw more than just words at you.)

Notice how these questions frame possibility and point you in the direction of empowerment. When our economy first tanked, I started asking questions about how could this happen? Reading the experts opinions only made me more anxious. Remembering the old stress adage that “the brain wires in the way it fires,” I identified my anxiety as THE problem and begin to create a shift by asking different questions. Anxiety is contagious and spreads like wildfire.

Here are three steps that can help to make the shift from disaster to possibility.

1. Define and Chunk the problem. This means identifying the problem in a manageable and solvable size. What is the problem I am having right now? How is this problem sticking to me personally? They weren’t going to get rid of the large mortgage overnight, but they could solve the cash flow crisis.

2. Brainstorm possible solutions to newly “chunked problem definition” and think wildly outside the box!

3. Pick a path and follow it to a conclusion with necessary adjustments along the way.

Often the help of a friend, mentor or therapist is needed to deal with internal fears, objections and resistance to redefining the problem or following a path of possibility. Sometimes the just feeling understood frees us up to to consider possibilities and solutions. Often I find mental rebooting methods like tapping (EFT) or brainwave music very effective in shifting from ruminations to brainstorming.

The pastor and church debt?

At the next leadership meeting folk began to moan and groan about the finances and debt. When the pastor shifted the group to empowerment questions, they begin brainstorm and think wildly outside the box. The result was an upbeat meeting that led to exploring some exciting new ministry opportunities that would not have been dreamed of without asking the question "What is great about this?."

Motivation and Focus

2010-09-01T14:40:00.008-04:00

How did my friend Stan put it? "You rebel at all things that have to do with structure!" I could protest a little and replace "slightly resistant" for "rebel" but he is closer to the truth. I recently read a blog by one of my favorite therapist/ authors - Bellaruth Naparastek. She talked about being internally motivated instead of being rebellious to structure. So I will go with her positive reframe.

Being a person who prefers to be internally motivated as opposed to driven by external goals and structure, I must confess that there are times that this works against me. Instead of entering a blog post at a set time each month, I wait until the spirit moves me. When my mind, body & spirit are hitting on all cylinders - this works effortlessly. During those times when I am out of sync, it means no new blog posts.

So I decided today to complete Daniel Amen's One Page "Becoming Focused" exercise for folk with Prefrontal cortex issues (struggle with focus, routine and non engaging environments).

My resistance to typing out this page was significant, letting alone filling it out. But I pushed through the resistance and noted that this might be a good issue for Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping).

So my one page "Becoming Focused Road Map" is now complete. We will have to wait to see if it bears fruit or gathers dust under a pile of papers. Here it is for those of you who resist thinking and planning ahead.

What Do I want for My Life?
Becoming Focused – One Page Road Map
Name:

For...
Relationships
-Spouse/Partner:
-Children:
-Extended Family:

Work

Money
-Short Term
-Long Term

Myself
-Body:
-Mind:
-Spirit:

This tool is designed for focusing on what’s personally important. This "back up brain" page will help you keep you on track and serve as a road map. It is meant to be “bumper sticker” brief in style.
...adapted from Daniel Amen’s “Change Your Brain – Change Your Life”

Finding Your Zone

2010-06-24T15:03:00.016-04:00

Remember a time when you were firing on all cylinders?

These snapshots from our memory can be described as a moment when time stood still and you experienced mental clarity, a calm energy and inner peace.  These emotional experiences can be described as ecstatic, blissful, passionate, elation, euphoric and joyful. These brief peak experiences nurture our lives and carry us forward with hope and expectation.

I used to think that they were random moments that occurred when I just happened to be at the right place - at the right time.  There is a unexpected quality to peak experiences, but we can live our lives in ways that prepare us for their appearance without chasing or trying to control them.

These moments have increased once I discovered that my attitude, expectations and use of mind management methods (like Emotional Freedom Technique) are equal if not more important than time and space.  Experiencing "the flow" is part gift and part spiritual posture.

TRY THIS...
The following exercise is adapted from the book "Mystic Cool." Use it for sinking into the memory and experiences of being in the flow.

If you struggle to think of any "flow" moments you may be reaching to high. Some of those our peak moments can be quite brief but often are located along the paths of nature, friendship, intimacy, creating, sports, contemplation, travel, celebration and work as a labor of love. For many, spiritual practices like worship, service, prayer, fasting, meditation and study/contemplation provide moments of grace/flow.

1. Identify just one peak experience or moment of flow. Then make a list of how that moment felt in your mind and body.

2. List out ten bumper sticker phrases that capture your "Zone" experience as a way to create a mental anchor for this memory.

3. Tap on the EFT points while recalling your Zone memory for three rounds (you can say out loud your bumper sticker phrases from above - changing phrases with each point - this can make the memory more vivid)....

Follow link for instructions on tapping points.

If any internal objections rise to the surface when tapping in the mental anchors and sensations of the peak experience - talk back to them and apply the EFT recipe for clearing out your negative beliefs and thoughts.

For Example:

"Even though part of me doesn't deserve inner peace - I accept this part and embrace a calm and peaceful mind anyway."

"Even though the flow can't happen to me - I choose to be calm, connected and curious in this moment."

"Even though my life is to ________ (insert busy, stressful, hard, impossible etc.) - I am thankful for this moment and opportunity to discovery my resiliency and strength."
Enjoy the exercise and let me know what you notice!

The Importance of Time and Personality

2010-06-10T21:46:00.003-04:00

A while back I wrote a blog about "Time Types & Attitude."

http://www.gcarpenter.net/2009/10/present-hedonist-or-past-negative.html

My father sent me an email with following video narrated by Professor Philip G. Zimbardo. I highly recommend it. It is worth the ten minutes of your time. You might want to read my article linked above before watching the video.

Enjoy!

Helen Fisher studies the brain in love | Video on TED.com

2010-05-04T23:58:00.002-04:00

Does you biology pull your towards one person over another? Great talk about what is going in on the brain when in love. She has conducted some interesting studies by putting folk who are "in love" in functional MRI's to study what is happening in the brain when you fall in love. It is about 15 min. long.

Helen Fisher studies the brain in love Video on TED.com

Healing Sounds & Singing Bowl Sampler

2010-04-06T20:53:00.007-04:00

Here is the link to the Healing Sound workshop being held on April 22nd. Healing Vibrations: Your Soul on Sound

On Good Friday I attended a different spiritual venue. At Beneficient Congregational Church in Providence RI, a Gong Bath was being performed. I have been a big advocate for the clinical application of sounds as a healing tool for many years. But this modality was absolutely unlike anything I had ever experienced. The Gong Bath surpassed even my highest expectations. The sound was truly transcendant. Competely "chill" parasympathetic and then a calm high energy combined all into one. At the end it really did feel like an energetic bath. My mind, body and spirit felt as if it had been cleansed of toxic thought, feelings and sensations.

I am not sure if it was the hemispheric syncronicity, primordial sounds or brain entrainment that created this feeling of deep calm and energy. But the sympathetic resonance of the combination of sounds transported me in spite of myself. With my own sound workshop coming up in a few weeks, I couln't help but keep one eye open as an observer. In spite of keeping my left brain turned on by making mental notes, I still felt a deep penetrating state of relaxation and altered state of consciousness. My experience was from head to toe a state of "grace." Without any symbols or liturgy, the sounds communicated volumes regarding the message of the Christian celebration Easter.
-----------------------------------
This video contain my introduction and a sampling of the Tibetan Sing Bowls sounds. The sound quality here is not nearly as dynamic and energetic as in person. But it does give you a general ideas. Using stereo headphones will provide a more effective relaxation response.

Mystic Cool

2010-03-17T00:43:00.003-04:00

Author Don Joseph Goewey is the author of the latest book I am reading, "Mystic Cool" Daniel Siegel MD states, "In Mystic Cool, neuroscience, psychology, and spirituality find a common home, offering a place to come in from a hectic life. Mystic Cool presents an intriguing approach to transforming a disconnected way of living with stress into a richer, more integrated way of being.

He has been a past director of psycho-social-spiritual agency that developed a mainstream approach to helping people face and shift catastrophic situations and was a lead executive at Stanford University's Department of Psychiatry. He has worked as Bosnian refuge camps, AIDS wards and prisons. Although he has "delivered workshops and keynotes throughout the world" he isn't a psychotherapist and thus brings a lay practicality to the new discoveries of neuroscience and neuroplasticity.

Check out his website at www.mysticcool.com

Look for his 6 week telelass on learning how to rewire your brain for peace of mind.

Old View

Old brain science stated that the brain was immutable and set by adulthood. "If nature, social conditioning, an poor quality of nurturing during childhood wire a person's brain for fear, then flight or fight and the stress it causes are likely to dominate a person's life."

New View

He states that by the mid 90's research had already demonstrated that the brain responds to the mind when given directions. What many of us learned in school was incorrect. Today compelling evidence has been gathered that reveals that the brain is "dynamic; remodeling itself continually in response to experience." Another way to state this is that the way our brain fires is the way it wires.

We can rewire our brain through persistent interventions and practice. He states that this can begin to take hold in as little as eight weeks.

Five years ago my own approach to my thoughts and feelings shifted with the discovery of the neuroplasticity of the brain and two tools, "brain music" Stress and Brain Music and Emotional Freedom Technique EFT Instructions. Persistent use of these techniques does feel like my brain has been rewired for the better.

When it comes to anxiety, you will discover that the problem isn't the problem. Rather, the fact we are worrying is "the problem." When we stress, ruminate and obsess we are conditioning our brain to be quicker to respond with stress and worry with lesser thresholds. When we stop worrying we can start problem solving (which is different). When we are problem solving we define the issue, brainstorm solutions and then take actions steps to engage the problem. Worry and ruminating fools us into thinking we problem solving.

For more information check out this interview with Don Goewey at Podcast "Rewiring Your Brain"

I think his work gets an A+ for practical application. Let me know what your think.

Tibetan Singing Bowls

2010-03-14T16:13:00.003-04:00

"Healing Vibrations: Your Soul on Sound" - Thursday April 22nd 6:30 - 8:30 pm. $35/person
Leader: Greg Carpenter
more info: contact gdcconsulting@comcast.net
Surround yourself with the healing sounds of ancient Tibetan Singing Bowls. Experience deep relaxation, balance your energy system and open up to the flow of your spiritual self.

Experience…
         • Tibetan Bowl Sound Bath
         • Sound as a Path to Inner Peace
         • Deep States of Relaxation
         • Pain Release

Rediscovering sound as a healing technique five years ago has clearly expanded my mental renewal tool box. Currently, I am listening to hemi-sync music while I create this post. Brain sync music and sounds are an excellent way to acknowledge negative emotional states and gently shift to a balanced whole brain pattern.

Within the last year, I have discovered the sounds produced by Tibetan Singing Bowls.  The transcendant sounds they produce have been astounding. My collection has multiplied from one bowl purchased over one year ago to seven and still growing. The antique bowls produce harmonic and rich tones that pull you into a brain entrainment of deep relaxation.

Clients have experienced deep states of relaxation, the removal of emotional blocks and a return to a less stressed - more authentic self following both short and longer durations of sound exposure.

In this workshop we will learn about the healing paths of sounds and experience a meditative "sound bath" from playing multiple singing bowls. If you haven't experienced the healing sounds of the singing bowls you are in for a physical and mental treat.

Tapping Tips

2010-01-10T20:24:00.005-05:00

"Traditional Talk Therapy" can provide relief. But I have found that deeper issues need processing through right brain techniques like EFT (I have had success with healing sounds, EMDR, EFT and a newer technique called Brainspotting).

Currently, I am getting some interesting and positive results with clients who have chronic issues. Sometimes the energy reversal run so deep that persistent tapping is required to develop new thought and feeling patterns. Clients with chronic depression or anxiety have turned things around by tapping on just two points on the hour throughout the day. You can try this for one day or two consecutive days. Of course this has taken place in the context of therapy pinpointing where clients feel stuck (this isn't "official EFT" but my own adaptati0n).

This tapping homework provided the break through we weren't able to get through regular tapping during sessions. Some folk have taken the homework to the next level and have tapped on all the EFT points. Repeating the entire EFT script on the hour is even better. But I have found better homework compliance with folk who choose to tap on just two points on the hour.

The Two Points
The two points are the Karate Chop point located on the side of your hand and the point located Under you Nose. Tap five times on each point on the hour from morning to bed time. As with all suggestions if symptoms get worse stop what your are doing and seek professional assistance.

For Tapping Newbies
Often "newbies" to tapping get hung up on doing it "right" or using the correct words. Even seasoned veterans sometimes get reversed on an issue and don't feel like tapping or can't find the right words (a clear sign of being reversed). Tonight I discovered a web site that should benefit to those who like more concrete instructions tailored to their specific feeling or issue.

This web site is free and allows you to enter your feeling or thing that happened (what I call the "itch") and automatically creates a script for you to use inserting your feeling or issue. It is located at http://www.howtotap.com/EFT_words.html

Surf over to the website and give it a try.

Looking forward to your feedback on either tapping tips.

If you are reading this post and saying to yourself "huh?" Then jump to an earlier article and read "The Basic Emotional Freedom Technique Recipe" listed under Labels as "EFT Instructions."

"Time Types and Attitude"

2009-10-20T12:29:00.008-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I was out kayaking with my friend David. We put in at the rest stop/boat ramp between exit 20 & 21 on Rt. 195 near Wareham, Ma. It was Thursday, so there was little competition with other boaters. The weather was perfect and the tide was with us going out and on our way back. We went up the river that emptied out into Buzzards Bay.

My friend David is the perfect kayaking buddy because his approach to time results in little chance of feeling rushed. We paddled lazily out to the Bay and enjoyed watching the Osprey make like “dive bombers” as they wildly crashed into the water looking for their next catch of the day. It was eight miles of bliss, serenity and being in the moment. During our time together with nature and saltwater we were in a state of “no worries.”

Stanford University psychology professor emeritus Philip Zimbardo would say that our paddling time was “present-hedonist” (I prefer the word “pleasure”). The professor has conducted a decade of research on time perspectives. He concluded that our attitude toward time is just as critical as personality traits like optimism or extroversion. In my therapy practice I have observed how different time types has enabled or disabled relationships, work performance and life satisfaction.

Jane Collingwood from PyschCentral http://www.psychcentral.com/ states in her article on “What’s Your Time Perspective?”…

“Ideally, we can learn to shift our attention easily between the past, present and future, and consciously adapt our mindset to any given situation. Learning to switch time perspectives allows us to fully take part in everything we do, whether it’s a relaxed evening enjoying a glass of wine or reminiscing about long-ago events with an old friend.”

She summarizes Zimbardo’s five time types as follows:

The ‘past-negative’ type. You focus on negative personal experiences that still have the power to upset you. This can lead to feelings of bitterness and regret.

The ‘past-positive’ type. You take a nostalgic view of the past, and stay in very close contact with your family. You tend to have happy relationships, but the downside is a cautious, “better safe than sorry” approach which may hold you back.

The ‘present-hedonistic’ type. You are dominated by pleasure-seeking impulses, and are reluctant to postpone feeling good for the sake of greater gain later. You are popular but tend to have a less healthy lifestyle and take more risks.

The ‘present-fatalistic’ type. You aren’t enjoying the present but feel trapped in it, unable to change the inevitability of the future. This sense of powerlessness can lead to anxiety, depression and risk-taking.

The ‘future-focused’ type. You are highly ambitious, focused on goals, and big on making ‘to do’ lists. You tend to feel a nagging sense of urgency that can create stress for yourself and those around you. Your investment in the future can come at the cost of close relationships and recreation time.

Since grad school, I have been aware of how these different approaches to time impact communication, relationships and productivity. Zimbardo’s research points to even more specific ways we can be enabled or disabled by our time type. His five types increase our understanding of how different approaches to time shape our beliefs and behaviors.

Each of the time types shift as we move through life, but if you look closely you will be able to identify a primary and secondary time type that has shaped your journey. Look over the five types and see if you can identify a primary orientation in your life.

What is your primary and secondary time type?
See if you can identify a family type from your youth.
Does your work or family’s time type beat to a different drum?
How does your experience of time create strengths and challenges in your life?

"Healing Sounds: Your Mind on Music" 10.8.09

2009-09-04T14:57:00.004-04:00

Workshop
Healing Sounds...Your Mind on Music
Date: 10.8.09 Thursday
Time: 6:30 - 8:30 pm
Cost: $35/person

Register or Contact Greg Carpenter at gdcconsulting@comcast.net or call 401.265.2951

Workshop Description: Learn how to use healing sounds and brainwave music for Mental and Spiritual Renewal. Learn how to combat mental fatigue in less than 5 minutes through theta brainwave music!

Topics Covered
-The Function of Brain Waves
-Toning: Healing Vocalizations
-Experience Brainwave Music and Mental Peace
-Reducing Stress/Worry through Music

Location: Positive New Beginnings Wellness Center
873 Waterman Ave East Providence, RI

Instructor's Comments
If you haven't experienced the power of brainwave music for rebooting a tired or anxious mind, then you need to check out this workshop! You will be exposed to one of my top recommended mental rebooting tools. Judicatory leaders, pastors, business executives and psychotherapy clients have all credited brainwave music as a key component to their mind managment tools. Daily use of brainwave music has literally changed my mind.

See blog entry labeled "The Brain"

New web link for EFT Workshops!

2009-09-03T13:50:00.004-04:00

Just wanted to point out a new web link I have posted titled EFT Workshops, Seminars, Trainings and Teleclasses. Here is the description posted on this web site.

"Welcome to the directory of EFT and Energy Psychology workshops, trainings and teleclasses in the USA and around the world. Also included in this directory are workshops in other Energy Psychology techniques, such as Meridian Tapping Techniques (MTT), TAT, TFT, EDxTM, BSFF, ZPoint, WHEE, Seemorg Matrix Work, EmoTrance, and Quick REMAP."

Thanks to fellow tapper Stefan Gonick, we have this web site which serves to list workshops in energy psychology and tapping techniques across the United States and around the world.

I would love to have you attend my workshops. But more importantly, I want you to receive the exciting value of this powerful mind, body & spirit technique. If my dates or locations do not work for you, click on the link and find a workshop that fits into your schedule and location!

EFT Practitioner Training - Part One

2009-09-03T13:34:00.007-04:00

Workshop EFT Practitioner Essentials

Date: Saturday October 24, 2009
Time: 9 - 2 pm
Cost: $95
Instructor: Greg Carpenter LMFT
Location: Positive New Beginnings Holistic Center
873 Waterman Ave. East Providence, RI 02914

Workshop Description:
Learn how to use EFT and Meridian Tapping Techniques
*The Discovery Statement
*The Basic Recipe and Setup
*Being Specific
*Aspects
*Borrowing Benefits
*The Need for Persistence
*Demonstrations
*Hands on Practice

Workshop Comments
"What a teacher! (OR WHAT A SKILLED INSTRUCTOR!) Greg's concise and humorous style made EFT instantly accessible and immediately useful. The experience we shared during the workshop was profound. We witnessed the healing powers of EFT and Greg made it a pleasure to learn. Highly recommended. I'd do it again.

Christina Berard, RPh, MEd,
Mind-Body Therapist

Instructor's Comments

With 25 years of experience as a therapist, nothing has energized my practice like EFT over the past five years. I have been working with groups and leading workshops for over twenty years. You will receive valued content, experiential learning and energy from our time together! My goal is for you to experience that "aha!" moment when EFT works in a very deep way. This class will be fun, profound and an opportunity to master personal use and to begin to learn how to use EFT with others. Feel free to contact me for more information.

peace,

Greg

Disclaimer: The presenter feels that these workshops generate extraordinary benefits for all attendees. EFT is a very flexible process and thus the workshops represent the views of the presenter and do not necessarily reflect those of EFT, Gary Craig or the complete, standardized training offered at emofree.com

"Thoughts"

2009-08-25T12:04:00.010-04:00

As I sit here at Panera's finishing a bowl of Broccoli Cheddar soup (my favorite), I am observing my thoughts as I prepare to write this article.

*"it is a gorgeous sunny day..."
*"you need to get more organized it has been almost two months since your last post"
*"I really do focus better in this environment"
*"how should you begin this article?"
*"I hate how my editing skills stink"

Each one of these thoughts play a primary role in how I feel right now. If I keep playing the negative thoughts over and over in my mind, changes in my body will occur that are consistent with being under threat of physical harm. My hand temperature will drop, heart rate will increase, blood pressure will rise, breathing rate shorter and more rapid, muscle tension increases along with hand perspiration.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen's latest book "Magnificent Mind At Any Age" has some very helpful ideas about the brain, thoughts and perceptions. Folk who let thoughts go unedited lose the ability to embrace their truth. Most of us occasionally have some "automatic negative thoughts" that pop up uninvited. For some folk, the repetitive nature of what Dr. Amen calls ANTS becomes a serious problem as it negatively impacts their physical health, distorts their perceptions and constricts their power to find happiness.

The following is his summary of nine different types of automatic negative thoughts that need to be challenged.

1. Always Thinking: Overgeneralizing a situation and usually starting thoughts with words like always, never, everyone, every time
2. Focusing on the Negative: Preoccupying yourself with what's going wrong in a situation and ignoring everything that could be construed as positive
3. Fortune-Telling: Predicting the future in a negative way.
4. Mind Reading: Arbitrarily believing you know what another person things, even though they have not told you
5. Thinking with Your Feelings: Believing your negative feelings without ever questioning them
6. Guilt Beatings: Thinking with words like should, must, ought, or have to that produce feelings of guilt
7. Labeling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or others
8. Personalization: Allowing innocuous events to take on personal meaning
9. Blame: Blaming other people for the problems in your life

If you find your thoughts fall into one or more of these categories on a persistent basis it is time to employ new thought strategies.

Here are some random quotes that I call "Amenisms."

-"Like a muscle, the thoughts that you exercise become stronger and become the thoughts you rely on and believe, good or bad."
-"Thoughts are powerful...Every cell in your body is affected by every thought you have."
-"Unless you think about your thoughts, they are automatic or "they just happen."....Your thoughts do not always tell the truth."
-"Once you learn about your thoughts, you can choose to think good thoughts and feel good or you can choose to think bad thoughts and feel lousy."
-"When you just think about a negative thought without challenging it, your mind believes it and your body reacts to it."
-"Whenever you notice these ANTs, you need to crush them or they'll ruin your relationship, your self esteem and your personal power."

Dr. Amen suggests questioning ANTs by asking if they are distorted and identifying their type. We can stop the ANTs by talking back or what I call reframing them. Recently, I lost 15 pounds in 8 weeks. But as I stepped on the scale and registered the weight loss, a self defeating thought would pop up and say, "...that's nothing, you need to loose more!" This brand of negative thought is both a "focus on the negative" and a "guilt beating." If I allowed these thoughts to go unchallenged and let them build, you can bet that they outcome wouldn't be to lose weight at a faster rate!

Putting a positive frame around the ANTs, "...15 pounds in eight weeks is a great start!" is one way to stop negative thoughts. I also recommend biolateral and brainwave music (see article here under label of "The Brain") There are other energy psychology techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique that are also highly effective in changing negative thoughts into positive ones.

Relationship Problems vs. Difficulties

2009-06-17T13:50:00.007-04:00

The other day my recently graduated from High School son and I were “discussing” the merits of working "full time vs. part time" through the summer. We were not exactly on the same page in terms of goals, outcomes and expectations for the summer before he goes off to college. He would state, “Dad, none of my friends work 40 hours a week through the summer! And where am I going to find full time summer work?” David's perception is situation = “difficulty that needs to be lived with.”

My perceptions differ significantly. Situation = "problem has a solution." My "father speak" sounds like a math teacher trying to get a student to apply the proper formula in order to get the correct answer. The result = emotional gridlock.

In family life failing to discern the difference between a "problem to be solved" and a "difficulty that needs to be managed" can lead to the destruction of relationships. Many conflicts emerge because folk are trying to cure something that needs to be managed. Preferring “order” to “spontaneity” isn’t something that needs to be fixed. Trying to get your partner to be more like you only leads to emotional gridlock. But these differences in partners need to be discussed and managed effectively. Ignoring differences can lead to conflict and emotional distance.

A Lutheran pastor and family therapist Kenneth A. Halstead writes in his book “From Stuck To Unstuck: Overcoming Congregational Impasse” about the important assessment of determining whether something is a problem to be solved or a difficulty to be lived with or managed. He draws from the Systemic thinking on family life.

A "difficulty" is something we must accept and learn to live with or manage. It is a perpetual issue that never really evaporates, but needs to be addressed without looping and fighting.
A "problem" is something that is solvable. Some people love Math because there are clear-cut solutions. Trying to treat your kids or partner like a Math equation usually does little for feeling connected.

Thoughts on Problems
By no means is the following list exhaustive of problems that need to be solved. But hopefully what is listed here will stimulate your own list...

A partner’s infidelity is a problem to be solved. Lying and deceit are problems that have clear-cut solutions (stop it!).
Addictions are problems to be solved (both for the person in relation to an active addict and for the addict that is in denial).
Physical or emotional abuse needs clear bottom line solutions.

Difficulties or perpetual issues never really go away, they require a different response. Like living with Diabetes, there needs to be an ongoing monitoring, checking in and continual adjustment of behaviors and interactions. Like a change in diet, what you take in verbally and emotionally needs to be altered according to changing life cycles and current events. There are cycles in a relationship where differences are muted and create little stress. At key points they can become ingredients for a “perfect storm” (first year of marriage, first child, kids leaving home, etc.). The following is my list of differences or what perpetual issues (Gottman's term) that need to be lived with and managed effectively. They are listed as differences in personality preferences and beliefs.

Perpetual Issues

Order vs. Unstructured
Feelings vs. Logic
Personal Space vs. Togetherness
Emotional Intimacy & Sex
Financial: Saving vs. Spending
Family Ties: Distance vs. Closeness
Chores: Structured vs. Bursts of Inspiration
Parenting: Self Esteem vs. Consequences
Orientation to Time: Punctuality vs. In the Moment
Social vs. “Homebody”
Secular vs. Spirituality vs. Organized Religion
Ambition: Driven vs. Contentment
Adventure vs. Stability
Other Issues

Understanding whether you are dealing with a problem to be solved or a difficulty that needs greater communication and management is critical to avoiding increasing distance and dissatisfaction in relationships. Managing and communicating about differences and ongoing differences creates greater connection and relational health. Many couples have expressed that life together would have been easier and more fulfilling if they had come in earlier for assistance. If you are encountering serious problems without discovering mutually satisfying solutions, it may be time to get help from a couple’s therapist. If you find you have several ongoing differences or perpetual issues that are creating patterns of conflict, seek outside support.

The Basic Emotional Freedom Technique Recipe

2009-05-05T23:04:00.017-04:00

If you heard Danny Gokey sing during rock week on American Idol, you heard and felt his vibrations as he sang Aerosmith's "Dream On." Vibrations with the correct alignment would be called singing. Vocalizations that are out of alignment get bad reviews. His last note was not in alignment, it sounded more like a disharmonious scream.

Vibrations are another way to talk about our emotional state, sensations in the body ("in the pit of my stomach") thoughts and perceptions.

Your vibration represents your current emotion or the “level” of your mood and feeling about any matter or event. What is great about the way our brain is designed (what Dr. Daniel Amen calls the "hardware of our soul") is that we can create the emotional state or vibration we desire. We can choose our emotional frequency and what we place at the center of our focus.

You can even shift your perceptions and "mental vibration" when stressed by asking a simple question like, "What is great about this?"
Fundamentally, what is most important in our life isn't what happens to us, but how we choose to react to life's events. That doesn't mean what happens is insignificant, but it does mean that in the end external events do not have to ultimately define us.

I have found EFT the easiest and quickest way to change your emotional state, clear out self doubt and to erase bodily tension. The EFT recipe helps you to acknowledge what you are feeling and then move to a place where you can release it. In the Letter to Galatians the characteristics of a higher or spiritual self are described in chapter 5:22. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness..." NIV

While anger, sadness, guilt, wrath, jealousy etc. are all legitimate and normal emotional reactions. When we linger on these feelings, we see the world differently. It is our perceptions that determines our actions which in the end will determine our destiny. In just two weeks of experiencing increased guilt, sadness, lethargy, anxiety and irritability, biochemical changes take place in the brain that lead to a mild or moderate depression. Just TWO WEEKS!

The world literally looks brighter when you are more appreciative and in alignment with your life's purpose. Mental and emotional states have a strong impact on our cellular systems.

Play along with me and try a little experiment. Visualize and set a deep sense of something positive in your life - it could be watching a sunset or embracing a loved one (or if you are like my friend Terry Wilson - it would be out to sea on his boat). Now swallow, yes I did say swallow. Notice the level of effort it took to swallow. Did it feel easy to accomplish or difficult? Now think of something negative or even focus on a visual image of the word "hate." Now swallow once again. Notice the level of difficulty.

For most of you, unless you are currently stressed or out of sorts, focusing on something negative made it more difficult to swallow. Anyone who has been anxious giving a speech for the first time can relate to this exercise. This little exercise reveals the impact the mind has on the body. Over time thoughts do become things in the form of stress related illness.

Tapping on acupuncture points while focusing on what is bother you is also effective for eliminating fears and limiting beliefs.

So here is the basic instructions..... If you have questions, successes or challenges let me know!

1. Tune into feeling or issue.

2. Rate intensity on scale of 1 to 10 Ex. "5 represent an increasing discomfort but can handle it"

3. Setup: Tap Karate Chop point and say 3 times, "Even though I am really or have this ____(hurt, angry, outraged, "beside myself" etc.) I deeply love and accept myself" or fully accept the love of God. Some folk with a sense of spiritual journey find the latter affirmation more effective.

The Sequence

Say "this _______ (anger, hurt, debt, guilt, grief etc.) and repeat as you tap on each of the following points listed below (except where noted can tap with end of index and middle finger.(For example while tapping on each of the points listed below, "This "financial stress," or "parenting stress.") If you are really tuned into the emotion you can sometimes get the same results by just tapping on the point without the target phrases.

*Tap 7 - 10 times at each point described below

*top of head with open palm
*eye brow EB
*side of your eye SE
*under you eye UE
*under nose UN
*under lower lip UL
*collar bone point (where the neck meets the notch in your collar bone) tap with open palm
*four inches under your arm pit, tap with your open palm.

Take deep breath and notice change in body sensations, feelings or thought.

If 1 or zero stop.

If 2 or higher repeat the Tapping Sequence saying "this remaining problem ________."

Persist until reaching zero or an acceptable level of distress.

Summary
Signs that it is working can be a flush of energy moving through your body, sighing, and a sense of release. For some folk the experience is gentle and others may experience a flood of emotional release. View the Veteran's video for EFT on this site and witness visible shifts. My recommendation for treating childhood trauma is to see a qualified EFT practitioner instead of attempting self treatment.

For a video demo click on the following link My EFT Demo Video

(Disclaimer: These EFT oriented products are provided as a good faith effort to expand the use of EFT in the world. They represent the ideas of EFT Practitioner Greg Carpenter and do not necessarily represent those of EFT Founder Gary Craig or EFT. While EFT has been used by thousands of therapists, nurses, social workers, psychologists, doctors, and individuals worldwide with exceptional results and minimal negative side effects, this does not mean that you will not experience any side effects. If you use EFT on yourself or others, you are advised to take full responsibility for yourself and the treatment.)

Relationships, Emotional Floods & Tapping

2009-05-03T10:42:00.002-04:00

If you are in an intimate relationship you have experienced a moment of "emotional flooding."

Emotional flooding (defined by one researcher as a heart rate over 100 beats per minute) greatly reduces your ability to be present and communicate effectively. It is important to have in your "tool box" a variety of methods for reducing your reactivity when triggered.

Often when I process a moment of emotional flooding through my favorite method and tap on select acupressure points, I get to an underlying memory or negative belief that is fueling my strong reactions. Within a few rounds I can get back to a calmer and less reactive state.

I often tell my clients that a healthy relationship is defined by only one person going crazy at a time. When two shadows are in the room together problems escalate rapidly. Healthier couples seem to understand instinctively that there is only room for one person to "loose it" at a time. They are able to "bystand" their own reactions and make choices about when and how to respond.

I have listed a few "mental rebooting techniques on my website www.energizingthejourney.com

You will find a few of the methods I teach my clients listed under the tab "Mental Rebooting Techniques."

Relationships and Getting Stuck

2009-04-16T18:52:00.005-04:00

Recently old friends from High School tracked me down and invited me to enter into the 21st Century by getting on Facebook. So with some hesitation, I entered into the virtual class reunion experience. In this virtual social space persons lead with their best sense of self (putting their “best foot forward”). It is interesting how contact with folk from your teenage years can awaken “parts or aspects of yourself” that seemed to have disappeared or gone to sleep. Along with our sense of a “best self,” we each possess a “shadow self” full of painful experiences and personal shortcomings.

That is what David Kantor is describing by naming “Gender Types.” These “types are the stories we assert of who we are or want to be as we make our way through society. In his book, “My Lover, Myself: Self Discovery Through Relationships” he writes about mate selection and the journey of marriage.

But I think his types apply to all relationship systems (online or otherwise). The three types are: the Fixer, Survivor and Protector. They are descriptions of the best selves we use to attract people to us. Most of us have one dominant type. But we need the flexibility to draw from all three types to negotiate the developmental mile markers of committed relationships.

These three heroic modes determine our non – thinking/automatic reactions to events. They also shape how we cope with anxiety and function to feel safe in the world. Author, researcher and therapist, David Kantor states that each type has an embedded shadow side that whispers feelings of unlovability and inadequacy. The shadow holds all of our biases, doubts and fears that we project onto people in situations we do not understand. When we are in our shadow selves, we have bumped into painful moments and memories of a perfect love that is beyond our grasp.

1. The Survivor’s bumper sticker is “I endure and overcome.” They carry their pain as if it didn’t exist. They like to feel invulnerable. Survivors are great in a crisis - they have the ability to carry on and adapt to circumstances. Survivors tend to toward the adage of “let sleeping dog’s lie.”

In their shadow, the Survivor goes completely underground. The deepest aspect of their shadow reveals the abandonment of their own self and others. They also abandon their partners when their expression of pain causes them to enter into their own hurt and vulnerability.

2. The Fixer’s bumper sticker is “I will solve the problems and rescue you.” Fixers want to make things all right for themselves and those they love (their vision may extend to the larger world as well). They tend to feel competent to fix whatever is thrown their way. The Fixer makes their loved ones feel safe and protected, because they will see what needs to be done, design a solution, and then follow through.

They respond with power when they descend into their shadow. They focus outwardly and attempt to overcome or conquer elements that they perceive to be the cause of being denied appreciation and love. Sometimes they cross the line from constructive problem solving, to rearranging a situation or a person’s life just to satisfy their need to have something to fix. They feel loved and loving, desired and desiring, when they are changing their environment.

3. The Protector’s bumper sticker is “I will not stand by idly,” experiencing my own suffering, or yours, and pretend it doesn’t exist. The Protector is far more willing to admit personal limits and say, “I cannot go on.” One of their greatest gifts is to identify areas of pain within themselves and others. They are guardians of the heart.

In their shadow, they can become the self-pitying victims. Effort seems pointless. As the shadow deepens, they perceive only weakness and sorrow. They fail to perceive the strength in themselves and others. Deeper into their shadow, the Protector becomes a powerless victim, too weak to overcome oppression. Deeper yet, they become the victim/accuser. Stuck in their status as victim, they can only rail against the injustices of the world. They become vigilant for any evidence of wrongdoing, and so see wrongdoing in many of their partners actions.

To discover your Gender Myth or Type, consider the stories that you tell from your childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Discuss these types with friends and partners to discover what they perceive to be true.

Are they clustered around…

*your ability to create change or solve problems (fixer)
*do they center in on your ability to endure adversities and difficulties (survivor)
*do you take pride in “being there for folk” and responding to their feelings (protector)

Ideally, we need to be in touch with all three heroic modes within ourselves. To neglect one or another is to divorce our selves from an essential part of our being. However, most of us can tell our primary type by reflecting on what happens when we get stuck and when our issues get triggered.

The automatic response when in the relational storm is often very predictable.

In the shadow…

*Fixers – get more controlling
*Survivors – distance
*Protectors – feel more powerless and victimized

"The Ritual Impasse"

Understanding how you get stuck in significant relationships is important because your shadow stance of becoming more controlling, distancing and feeling more powerless is all about avoiding the earlier pains of life. The shadow seeks to avoid deeper issues that create a state of painful vulnerability. These painful memories cluster around moments of failing to experience the all consuming and perfect love of early childhood. It is these exiled memories and wounds that appear and deepen what Kantor calls the ritual impasse that all relationships experience.

Most couples experience cycles of getting stuck. The depth is often connected to the degree of pain experienced early in life. Another contributing factor is the length and number of disconnecting interactions that occur without the experience of repairing communication. Avoiding that pain in intimate and committed relationships usually deadens the feeling of connection experienced at the beginning. Over time, the dance of connection/disconnection results in greater patterns of stuck behavior (control-frustration, distance-abandonment and victim-powerlessness).

Learning how to talk about your conflicts without harming the relationship and slipping into the shadow behaviors is important for building intimacy and connection. Constant patterns of hostility, condescension, criticism, defensiveness and persistent distancing are signs that your relationship is at a critical point in its need for repair.

Make a commitment to communicate regularly and observe your sense of connection and intimacy. Being committed to staying together isn’t enough. Being committed to growing together through the conflicts is the pivotal decision.

Relationships & Self Discovery

2009-03-26T15:44:00.005-04:00

Many years ago, I taught a class at the Brown Learning Community at Brown University. The title was “The Psychology of Marriage and Intimacy.” One of the books used for that class was authored by David Kantor, “My Lover, Myself: Self Discovery Through Relationship.” The other day I ran across my outline for the course and decided to reread his book from 1999. I highly recommend this as an important work about intimacy and relationships.

My entire life has been working with relationships at home or at work. In my role as a spouse, father, son, brother (and on it goes) consultant and therapist I constantly bump into myself as I bump into others perceptions and expectations. Sometimes this "bump" is experienced as bliss, rapture and flow. Other times the bump feels more like "banging your head against the wall." The moment of head banging are less about others and more about my own internal family system of perceptions, judgments and admonitions. When relationships really hurt, I know that my deep shadow "stuff" is at hand. One thing is for certain, relationships are a fertile ground for self-discovery and personal growth.

At dinner parties I sometimes meet folk who ask what I do for a living. The reactions to "psychotherapist" vary, but inevitably I will run into someone who will state in a challenging tone, "I don't believe in therapy!" I smile and gently ask them if they are married or a parent. When they say yes I reply, "You are already in therapy. You just don't know it!"

All significant relationships are a learning laboratory. They will eventually bring to the surface exiled pain from your past hurts (if you are not asleep). But if you allow your relationships to confront your exiled hurts, a deeper healing can occur that isn't likely living in isolation.

Here are some tools for the journey adapted from David Kantor’s “tools and principles for staying on track” and I would add living consciously.

Tools for the Journey

The pursuit of being right usually results in being alone.

Learn that it isn’t about being right – it about learning to learn.

Shift your strategy from attacking to evoking – from changing someone to understanding

Shift your strategy from placating and stonewalling to engaging and getting curious.

Shift from judgment to being curious (about yourself and others).

Avoid blaming – take responsibility for self understanding.

Seek not the original cause – it can’t be found.

If it is to be found, it is usually within your own internal family system.

EFT Training Part I

2009-01-22T18:59:00.006-05:00

WORKSHOP PROMOTION!

EFT Training Workshop

Feb. 7 on Saturday from 9 am to 1 pm

Cost $95

Location: 873 Waterman St. East Providence, RI

contact Greg Carpenter for registration @
gdcconsulting@comcast.net
or Call #401.265.2951

Learn the Basic Technique and hands on practice with other workshop members.

Also learn about....

The Discovery Statement

The Basic Recipe and Setup

Becoming more specific with problem identification

Different Aspects that create disturbances

Borrowing Benefits when tapping as a group

How to be persistent within the midst of self doubt

Live Demonstrations of the EFT technique

Personal EFT: Multiple rounds of practice

Hands on Practice with workshop participants

The Basics of becoming an EFT Practitioner

"EFT is the most effective healing method I have used in my psychotherapy practice in over twenty years. This training is for person who are seeking to increase their EFT skills for their personal use and beginning steps on becoming an EFT Practitioner. Scroll down and click on the video link to the right more information about EFT.

Greg C.

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EFT Defined

"Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is an emotional, needle free version of acupuncture that is based on new discoveries regarding the connection between your body's subtle energies, your emotions, and your health. EFT has been reported successful in thousands of cases covering a huge range of emotional, health and performance issues. It often works where nothing else will"

from EFT founder Gary Craig's Web Site http://www.emofree.com/

Energizing The Journey

2008-12-19T21:25:00.004-05:00

I have always been drawn to opportunities that create energy, vitality and connection. "Energizing the Journey" has been a work in process for the past twenty-three years of my professional life (check out my new web site http://energizingthejourney.com). At times in my work, I have experienced compassion fatigue through work, exposure to traumatic stress, and a brain that has it's own issues with winter in New England.

Since my experience working at Ground Zero following 9.11 in NYC, I have spent significant time educating myself around issues related to the brain and stress (traumatic or otherwise). This has resulted in discovering and refining several "power techniques" that provide highly effective and efficient results for stress and mind management.

In my energy "toolbox," Emotional Freedom Technique, Brainwave Music and Power Questions are a few of my favorite mental renewal techniques. These "power techniques" are effective for creating renewal and rebooting the mind, body and spirit.

I hope that during this busy holiday season you will take the time to practice some of your own tried and true methods for renewal. Here is one of my favorites...

Mental Acupressure

Stimulating acupressure points while mentally focusing on a distressing thought or feeling is quite effective for providing relief.

Tap 7 - 10 times at point located at the beginning of your eye brow EB

Tap 7 - 10 times on the side of your eye SE

Tap 7 - 10 times under you eye UE

Tap 7 - 10 times under your nose UN

Tap 7 - 10 times under your lower lip UL

Tap 7 - 10 times with your open palm at your collar bone point (where the neck meets the notch in your collar bone)

Take deep breath and notice change in focus and thought.

Enhanced results by naming your distress and saying "this ____ (ex. "holiday stress") at each of the designated points.

These technique is a shortened version of the Emotional Freedom Technique created by Gary Craig. Increases blood flow to the brain, clears mental clutter and interrupts "fight or flight" response. Persistence and continual tapping will provide results.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Greg

U Can't Touch This!

2008-11-23T20:04:00.005-05:00

MC Hammer's song "U Can't Touch This" isn't about body memory or sensitivity. But the title catches the experiences of many. Several clients have talked about having locations on their bodies that were off limits or extremely sensitive to touch. "The body holds the wisdom" reminds us that touch sensitivities are pointing toward the need for healing. I have found that EFT is a power therapy technique that provides a road map to relief.

When a husband read some of is wife's erotic email to her lover, he developed a touch sensitivity trigger by a specific visual image. After the hard work of repairing the relationship had been accomplished, his touch sensitivity still remained. An affectionate touch on his neck would send bolts of anger and charge through his spine. Even though he had chosen to forgive his wife, his body seemed to be sending a different message. It was still reacting with the same intensity of his first shocking discovery. Utilizing a "Tell The Story" Technique from EFT enabled this client to completely clear out his touch sensitivity. Both partners were grateful. The involuntary nature of his touch issue was painful reminder of the infidelity.

Another person had been living with a touch sensitivity most of her life. Just thinking about someone bumping into this sensitive spot on the middle of her back or being in a crowded commuter car was enough to trigger a SUD's of ten. Just thinking about focusing her mind on someone touching her mid back was enough to trigger a strong stress response (strained voice, facial tension and exasperation).

The Tearless Trauma Technique starts with this least disturbance and moves through to focusing directly on the worst aspect. We don't move to the next scene until each one is collapsed to a level of zero. In this manner, by the time we actually get to her focusing on someone or thing touching her back, her distress response is muted. After 60 minutes of clearing out each aspect that created a "ping," this person was able to completely eliminate her touch sensitivity. Several attempts to provoke hidden aspects fail to produce any touch sensitivities. All this client could say at the end of the session was "Wow!"

Four weeks later she reported that the problem was "gone!" She said, "....it is no longer a issue."

This client had told me that she had done extensive work through traditional talk therapy for her childhood abuse and trauma. Yet, it seemed her back was still clinging to old sensations. Tapping while holding in focus the shifting distress resulted in the removal of her touch sensitivity.

Touch Sensitivities often have "feeder roots" that help to form symptoms. This is why EFT is so effective and rapid with children. They haven't accumulated the intertwined roots of toxic experience and negative beliefs that many adults possess. Some folk have reported being able to clear these symptoms on their own through tapping. Yet, most have found it more effective to have a trained EFT Practitioner lead them through the process. Solid skills, psychological knowledge of trauma work and good intuition can help to get at core aspects that create touch sensitivities and provide lasting relief.

Shorter Days

2008-10-28T23:58:00.005-04:00

Most folk don't realize how much the decreasing sunlight can effect mood, energy levels and even memory. You don't have to be diagnosed with full blown Seasonal Affective Disorder to feel the effects of less sunlight. Sometimes folk who are borderline SAD can experience more symptoms during times of high stress, grief or anxiety. The current economic uncertainties can provide a context that triggers a higher number of symptoms.

Check out my article on SAD's "The Winter Blues" Nov. 2007 for more information and web links. Many symptoms manifest and act as a "yellow caution light" long before folk actually begin to feel depressed or experience intense periods of sadness.

Here is a review of the SAD symptoms.

Sleep problems
Overeating
Family / social problems
Lethargy
Physical symptoms
Behavioral problems

Light Therapy, exercise and both prescription and herbal anti-depressants have all provided relief for folk with varying degrees of symptoms.

Here is one link listed from my article in 2007.

http://www.nosad.org/

Part II: The Love Languages

2008-10-13T16:12:00.009-04:00

Giving back massages is good metaphor for love languages. Most folk deliver the “amount of pressure” during a massage in proportion to the amount of pressure they like to receive. If you have a large frame, the pressure you like to receive is likely to be painful on someone who is smaller. A good massage is always determined by the response of the recipient.

The needed actions for communicating love are similar. One person who was an extreme extrovert, threw a “living loud” surprise 40th birthday party for her husband. He was much more reserved and introverted. Imagine his reaction, when he entered his home to a crowded room full of friends shouting “SURPRISE!” He was able to smile his way through the evening. Yet, his wife felt disappointed by his muted response to her efforts. His idea of the correct “amount of pressure” was a quieter evening with a few friends.

Gary Chapman’s book identifies five languages of love (The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate). He writes about the actions couples can take to meet each other’s emotional needs. Here is a brief outline of his five love languages that lead to re-igniting a relationship of excitement and desire.

1. Words of Affirmation - Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation.
2. Quality Time - is about needing and wanting attention, giving undivided attention and focus to your partner.
3. Receiving Gifts - A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me” or “She remembered me.” Gifts are visual symbols of love.
4. Acts of Service - doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please him/her by serving and expressing your love by doing things for them.
5. Physical Touch - is a powerful vehicle for communicating love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s partner.

Reflect on our preference. Usually our primary language is discovered in looking at our most frequent manner of expressing affection to our partner. On the flip side, also look at what it is you most frequently request from your partner (affirmation, time, gifts, doing things or touch). Determine your partners preferred language by asking the same questions but in reverse.

Check in with each other and find out if you are both on the same page. Then make a commitment to focus on increasing the acts of affection for your partner’s primary preference. Do something each day for one week and see how it changes the “feel” of the relationship. Does it shift your perceptions and attitudes? Your partners?

Like the fuel gage on your car, using the love languages is helpful for assessing your sense of connection. Are you both running on empty, low, medium or high? Is your partner’s perception different? By checking in with each other and making adjustments, you can avoid running on fumes and supply the needed amount of affection.

There is a time when outside assistance is needed. Couples Therapy is helpful for partners that have been running on empty or low for an extended period of time. Some couples come to therapy to prevent deeper problems. Others come when they are stuck and feeling helpless to move their sense of connection and love forward.

On Marriage & Committed Relationships

2008-09-26T17:07:00.000-04:00

M. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author of the “The Road Less Traveled,” writes that the “in love” experience should not be called love. He states that the “in love” experience is a temporary emotional high. Brain research suggests that the neurological chemical changes of feeling “in love” lasts for 6 – 8 months.

In my experience, the real work of love begins somewhere after the first six months to a year. Love born out of work and commitment has an emotional component and on good days can feel like an altered state of consciousness. Scott states that love unites reason and emotions. It involves an act of will, requires discipline, and recognizes the need for personal growth.

A Rabbi and I were discussing relationships. I asked him how long he had been married. He remarked, “Greg, I have been married and divorced and remarried at least 20 times!” And with a knowing smile, paused and stated, “…all to the same woman.” He still remains married after 35 years.

He reminds us that a loving marriage involves moments of flow/work, ecstasy/effort, bliss/consternation. Regardless of our maturity, each one of us still contains a small part that thinks a loving marriage should just flow and be driven by synchronicity 24/7. Most of us possess a wounded part that seeks to find a partner who will be our primary healer. But wisdom and maturity teaches us that we are our primary caretakers.

“Love Fusion” is when couples expect to effortlessly merge into a blissful state of need fulfillment during every waking moment. Most of you have felt the impact of bumping into disappointment and reality. At some point a partner will trigger old wounds and become the source of pain instead of pleasure. How a couple navigates through this new phase of “storming” will determine the depth of their intimacy. Love fusion is merely foreplay. It is not the real deal of intimate relationships. But it is a wonderful high and quite intoxicating!

Healthy marriages involve times of conflict, struggle, reason and choice. We each desire to be loved by someone who chooses us, helps us to feel visible in the world and sees something worth loving in the midst of our flaws and blemishes. This kind of love requires the energy of emotion, effort and discipline. Committed partnerships are crucibles that heat up and bring our “issues” to the surface. They are as Sex Therapist and author David Snarch likes to state, “…people growing machines.” Long term-committed relationships can have deep passion. Learning to walk along side each other without blame and confronting our fears is not a path for the faint of heart or for those who lack staying power. But the payoffs and rewards are high.

When couples come to me for counseling. They often arrive being experts at what is wrong with the other person. Rarely, are they as adept at understanding their own part in getting stuck. I start with the assumption that no one is to blame and everyone is responsible for the health of their relationship. My goal is to help couples find a road map that can lead to growth, health and intimacy.

Look for Part II: The Languages of Love

Catching Up!

2008-08-24T17:13:00.000-04:00

This photo was taken on my Ferry ride from Martha's Vineyard enroute to Woods Hole, Ma. The setting sun, shadows on the sails and the cooler evening air is a reminder that autumn is around the corner. Soon a different rythm will emerge with the change of seasons and school buses will visit our streets once again.

Some folk have emailed or called saying, "where have you been….you haven't entered a blog all summer." It also seems I entered the "no-post zone" this summer.

Let me catch you up on upcoming workshops. This Monday I will be doing a Stress Busters workshop in Plymouth, Ma. focusing on easy to "learn and use" one minute "stress busters." So many of the stress management workshops I have attended in the past require changing jobs or a personality rewrite. This workshop is for those persons who aren't already type B personalities and need relaxation techniques that are easy to use.

This month I will also being doing a workshop on "Self Acceptance and EFT." Folk are going to engage in a 30 day trail of self acceptance using EFT to tap away negative beliefs, experiences and emotions. Results will be astounding.

My newest workshop is on "Healing Sounds: Your Mind On Music." I am excited to introduce folk to the healing power of sound and designer brain wave music that is "hard to believe" effective. This brainwave music can increase focus, performance, clear mental clutter, instill relaxation, clear negative emotions, and induce a mental state for deep learning and intuitive insight. See my Feb article "What's in Your Wallet?" for more information on healing sounds.

More on relationships in my next entry. Enjoy the rest of your summer! Take care and be well.

Tree Top Bliss

2008-05-15T16:09:00.000-04:00

Eyeing the pine tree behind my friend’s home, it became clear it was time to get a new perspective, literally. So, I begin my climb to the top. All “tree climbers” (yes, there is a national association of tree climbers) understand that certain pine trees provide great opportunities for reaching new heights. As I grabbed for the first branch on this tree, my friends Kent and Sue began to question if fearlessness was a form of foolishness. Ascending the tree, I moved upward carefully checking to see if each branch would hold my weight (falling is not an option). Climbing upward over the equivalent of several stories, I finally reached the treetop. Once at the top, I delicately pulled myself above the treetop to gain an unobstructed view (not an easy feet in the tree smothered landscape of Massachusetts). Once on top, there was not a tree or building blocking my view of the horizon. I just sat in my delicately balanced position and breathed in the rush of adrenalin, awe and breathtaking beauty of the East Bridgewater “skyline.”

My tree top bliss was interrupted by the voices of my friends urging me back down. Climbing down is always more difficult than going up. But with both feet back on the ground, I could still feel the rush of energy and excitement.

Carl Jung, a well known scholar in the field of psychology and religious experience states that each one of us has a soul that longs and urges us in various was to become the “wholeness embedded within us.” My belief is that we are all created in the divine image with purpose and possibilities. When we get caught up in our endless “to do” lists we get over focused on limitations, and lose perspective on possibilities.

Climbing to new heights always puts me in touch with something beyond myself. This different perspective of looking down on the world creates a shift that engages my imagination and shifts my viewing of the world.

Not everyone needs to climb a tree to make a shift. But when we get stuck in our perceptions or actions, shifting our “viewing” or “doing” can create positive changes. In the land of making change, sometimes a little results in a lot.

"Change Your Brain!"

2008-03-12T17:06:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had that experience of driving yourself crazy looking for something that you have misplaced? One time when my mind was overstressed from a lengthy “to do” list, I found myself frantically rushing around the house looking for my keys. As it became clear they were lost, I stopped to retrace my steps and located them in the refrigerator reclined against the bottle of Orange Juice.

Understanding how your brain works can help a wide range of behavioral issues that might not be considered “clinical” but are still annoying and sometimes difficult to manage. “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” by Daniel Amen is a book I highly recommend. It helps to get a handle on how your brain works and is full of self-help ideas for creating a more balanced brain (which translates into less lost keys).

Some folk need the support of therapy and meds to sustain a balanced brain. But for most of the population, folk experience more typical problems without realizing that their brain might be working against them. Most ongoing persistent behavioral problems have roots in a troubled or unbalanced brain. The good news is that this is a non-judgmental approach to self-care and personal growth. Knowing that your brain might be working against you is better news than believing that you are inherently a jerk, flawed or insensitive. Taking meds or supplements and/or learning behaviors that can create better brain balance is like putting on badly needed glasses after squinting your way through life. It is amazing how it can change your view of the world!

My new brain road map has helped me to create a customized toolbox of techniques for clearing my mind of unwanted stress. In previous blogs I have mentioned how tapping, and music can provide great stress relief. Simple changes in routine can also make a big difference. I now place my keys in the same container located in the same place every day when entering the house (almost everyday – I have “routine & structure issues”). That simple intervention has saved a lot of time and stress.

Below is a quick summary of Amen’s Five Different Brain systems.

Amen Brain System Quick Reference

Pre-frontal cortex - "The Supervisor" - guides focus, decision making, and planning. When under-active it can create a state of being restless, inattentive, easily distracted, terribly disorganized, and impulsive.

Self-help: create mental action step templates to create focus and to stay on track.

Better yet - listen to bio-lateral music to create focus when dealing with boring and tedious detail work (see previous blog).

Cingulate System - "The Gear Shifter" - helps in shifting between thoughts and behavior. When the CS is overactive it results in excessive worry, rigidity and over-focused anxiety.

Self Help: use distraction to derail rigidity and oppositional behavior.

Better yet - use the “Serenity Prayer” to acknowledge what you can and cannot control.

Deep Limbic System - "The Bonding Mechanism" - impacts bonding, motivation and mood control. Limbic hyperactivity has many of the symptoms of mild depression, including negativity, sadness, feelings of hopelessness, and an overabundance of automatic negative thoughts.

Self Help: identify automatic negative thoughts and talk back to them (Stop It!).

Better yet - go exercise and change your brain chemistry and mood.

Basil Ganglia - "The Idle Regulator" - impacts motor control and idle speed. When the BG is over active it increases anxiety, fear, panic and avoidance of conflict. When under-active it impacts fine motor control and the ability to concentrate and focus.

Self Help: try different relaxation exercises and meditation.

Better yet - get a copy of “Total Relaxation” by Kelly Howell and feel the rapid relaxing effects of alpha brain wave music.

Temporal Lobe - "The Inner Peace Regulator" - governs learning, memory, language and temper control. When the TL is out of balance, it can result in a struggle with memory, temper, irritability, and anxiety.

Self Help: moving, dancing and chanting are great ways to balance the temporal lobe.

Better yet - use the toning technique singing the some of the vowels sounds like “Ah,” “ou,” “ee” and “ay.” “Ee” and “Ay” help to release pain and anger (yes, this has been researched).

In my therapy practice, I give an “Amen Brain System Survey” to help folk map out their unique issues and strengths. For more information about Amen’s work, check out his website at http://www.amenclinics.com/

Sometimes medication is needed through a period of time to create balance when self-help behaviors are not enough. There is no shame in admitting the need for assistance in creating a more balanced brain and fulfilling life.

"What's in Your Wallet?" - Stress and Music

2008-02-20T19:02:00.000-05:00

Fear and anxiety are emotions that can distort our view and experience of the world. Too much anxiety distorts the actual threat standing in front of us. The stress response is a good thing if you are facing a pit bull that is ready to turn you into a Big Mac. The adrenalin surge that appears during an argument with your partner isn’t really all that helpful.

Brain Stuff

Perceptions are negatively altered when your body and brain are “jazzed up” on excessive worry. Every anxious thought floods your brain with “worry” chemicals causing a neurological equivalent to someone yelling "fire" at a movie theater. This cascade of electrical and chemical responses can over time hard wire your brain to be addicted to worry and anxiety. Psychologist David Feinstein writes, “For better or worse, your expectations release a flood of chemicals in your brain. Every sensation, emotion and passing thought causes millions of neurons to fire together, shaping your next response to whatever life presents (The Promise of Energy Psychology)”

The Capital One commercial asks, “What’s in your wallet?” as if personal peace comes through having the right credit card. Imagine if we bumped into radio and TV commercials throughout the day that ask, “What’s in your brain?” Okay, that also might get annoying pretty fast. But the idea of being good stewards of our thoughts and feelings isn’t a bad idea. Constant stress and ruminations rob us of the ability to experience vitality and joy.

Interestingly enough, we can choose our focus of attention. The emotional tag our brain places on certain experiences and personalities can make that quite challenging. Often, we need assistance in redirecting our focus and internal reactions.

Practical Stuff
One of my favorite “brain based techniques” is called “The Dimmer Switch.” Next time you are watching a scary movie, cover over your left eye while continuing to watch the movie. This action blocks input to the right side of your brain visually and will drop your anxiety buzz by a few points. You also might try another technique by rolling your eyes slowly in a clock wise fashion and then counter clock wise. This can help to interupt the emotional tag your brain places on life's events. Add humming a few bars of "happy birthday" to turbo charge this effect. This bi-lateral stimulation of the two hemipheres helps to reduce emotional intensity and makes it easier to "think and act" rather than just "reacting."

Your Brain on Music
Brain research on relaxation and music yields some interesting results. Playing different types of music changes your brain chemistry. In effect, it can liberate your own brain’s inner resources to function at an optimum capacity. Mp3 players are now so inexpensive that most folk can load up their favorite relaxation music and have it available 24/7.

If your favorite song isn’t getting the job done, then you might need a more scientific approach to music. Check out the Brain Sync music produced by Kelly Howell (see link at top). This site has music that has been designed to increase brain waves correlated with focus, relaxation, increased creativity and even deep sleep. My experience is that they work exceptionally well.

In my mp3 player is Kelly Howell’s "Total Relaxation," "High Focus," "Deep Learning," and "Deep Meditation." They all work effectively and quickly to produce the desired results. My player also includes bio-lateral music by David Grand (http://www.biolateral.com/products.htm) that increases relaxation and assists with focus issues. Next to my stress buster mp3’s is my favorite good old fashion blues music. Track one of Gov't Mule is great for getting the juices flowing, but that is another story.

As with all "tools" if something doesn't work or creates more distress, trust your reaction and stop what you are doing and try another approach.

Dreams and Goals

2007-12-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

Back in September I wrote about "Making Changes" referencing stages of change. With New Year just around the corner I have decided to share specific steps for creating goals as stepping stones for reaching your dreams. How many times have your created a New Years resolution which landed on the floor with a thud after a few weeks. New Years resolutions usually don’t work because they depend on sheer will power and lack a clear road map and support system for creating change.

Steve Wells is a psychologist from Australia who uses Emotional Freedom Techniques as a key tool for achieving and sustaining Peak Performance in business, sports, relationships and life (http://www.eftdownunder.com/). He suggests the following exercise as a way to generate goals and to gain insight into your levels of commitment. If you want to play along, complete the following statements with the first thoughts that come to your mind (brainstorming).

“I wish………...”

“I want ……….”

“I plan to …….”

“I will………….”

“I am………….”

The above exercise takes you through the several layers of commitment involved with reaching your goal. Most of us struggle with the phase of taking and sustaining action (“I will”). Dr. Wells states, “goals are dreams with a deadline.” The following is an adaptation of information you can get from his website listed above. I have found his steps a helpful road map for setting a course of creating change and getting unstuck.

Step 1 to Peak Performance: Decide!
Decide to commit yourself to a high goal or ideal.

Step 2 to Peak Performance: Break through the Barriers.
Overcome your limiting ways of thinking about what is possible for you. Learn and use EFT to eliminate mental and emotional barriers.

Step 3 to Peak Performance: Goal Setting.
Set goals that will inspire you to reach for the best.

Step 4 to Peak Performance: Values Clarification
Make sure that you are climbing a ladder that is leaning against the right wall. Ensure that your goals will help you to achieve your most important values.

Step 5 to Peak Performance: Organized Planning.
Needed knowledge and preparation is what separates those who are committed from those who are only interested. Map out your chosen path. Identify role models and mentors and model their success.

Step 6 to Peak Performance: Commitment.
You must decide that you want this enough to take the next step and plan for it to happen. Real commitment though comes from the decision that you will do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Step 7 to Peak Performance: Consistent Action
Get started - Do the first thing first. Take action towards your goals - don't let another minute go by before you take a step, no matter how small. Then persist - This is the quality of true champions.

My Thoughts
In my experience it has been helpful to have a mentor, life coach, friend or therapist to help keep on track. Emotional Freedom Technique (see my Oct. entry on "Emotional Freedom") is an important tool for dealing with the emotional and mental blocks that emerge as you start to think about or make changes. I met with an Executive Coach for over a year when I shifted to self-employment and opened my therapy/consulting practice. The coaching process was helpful in identifying limiting beliefs and negative self talk. It helped to create a plan, to set goals and stay on track. Negative beliefs can create the largest obstacles to achieving your dreams. As I write this, it becomes apparent that it is time to engage in assessment and put to paper another "dreams and goals" road map. Maybe I will give Steve Wells a call :)

"Love Actually...."

2007-12-10T15:01:00.000-05:00

Four years ago a movie was released entitled “Love Actually.” It is a Christmas romance comedy that interconnects twelve different love stories. The story reminds us that in spite of all the contradictory evidence, “love actually is all around us.” At the end of the movie many folk spontaneously clapped and cheered. What was all of the clapping about? Folk were celebrating that hope, good will and love won out in the end. People are looking for a message that hope is more enduring than despair and that mean spiritedness will eventually succumb to love.

My favorite scene at the end of the movie was the spontaneous proposal of the writer to the woman from Portugal. Catching his wife in the act of adultery, he moves to a self imposed exile over in Europe. While focused on the task of writing the final chapters of his book, he becomes enamored with his housemaid (a connection is made in spite of the language barrier). The evolving connection is severed when the writer returns to his homeland in the United States. We see him arriving on Christmas Eve, to be with his extended family. After stepping across the doorway, placing his gifts on the floor, he comes to himself and chooses (much to their protest) to fly across the world to propose to a woman who doesn’t speak his native tongue. Sometimes the heart communicates in ways that transcend spoken words.

During the movie I was caught up in the romance, hope and risk of “throwing all caution to the wind.” A day later, I was reflecting on the movie and knew there was a message within these stories that extends beyond the typical bromides of this season.

The end of the movie provided a kaleidoscope of images of everyday folk expressing affection, love to friends and family members. The message “love actually is all around us” is one of hope. Meister Eckhart, Christian mystic and author, stated that gratitude is the beginning of all conversions. Paradoxically when we become more grateful for the loving relationships’ that surrounds us, we actually increase the number of loving relationship in our life and world.

Solution / Possibility Oriented therapist frames being grateful in terms of “Noticing.” It is a simple activity of changing your view of the problem to a view of the desired solution or future. Instead of seeking deep-dish explanation for life’s problems’, choose to focus on what you want to attract and spend time counting (like the old math counters) or noticing when it begins to multiply (even the smallest of changes).

“Noticing” flows from the idea that we tend to create more of what we pay attention to in our lives (brain research indicates that we can become neurologically addicted to both our thoughts and feelings). If you want more love in your life, then dedicate yourself to focusing on and noticing the love that currently is around you. It is easier to state than to put into practice. Sometimes when obstacles show up we need a friend, or therapist to support us in the journey.

Spinning Your Wheels

2007-11-29T12:45:00.000-05:00

Growing up in a small town offered plenty of back alleys and dirt roads. After a thunder- storm, some dirt roads would have a large pool of water at the bottom of a hill. It was always a thrill to drive through these “ponds” with my Dad’s ten year old 66 Chrysler. You could never be sure whether or not you were going to splash your way through the water, get stuck in the mud or flood out the engine.

At some point, everyone gets stuck. Then you get to learn the art of rocking your car back - n - forth to get unstuck. Life is a journey that offers moments of pleasure and times of feeling stuck. Like automobiles, there are tricks to getting unstuck in life.

Kenneth Halstead, Family Therapist and College Chaplain wrote a book on going from stuck to unstuck. He states that we must discern between “problems” and “difficulties.” Problems are solvable. They have a solution. Difficulties are something that people must live with and accept. Trying to solve a difficulty results in misdirected energy and increased frustration. Living with a problem that has a solution is tragic. Here are three ways we can get stuck and mired down.

"Oversimplifying" - When folk try to deny a problem exists they turn a “mountain into a molehill.” Usually there are warning signs of distress of being stuck but they are ignored. Action steps are needed but fail to be engaged.

"Isn’t It Terrible” - Trying to change a difficulty into a problem is in effect turning a “molehill into a mountain.” This level of “wheel spinning” results in taking action that is not necessary and makes life even more difficult.

“Unintended Results” - Addressing problems at the wrong entry point provides unintended results. It is a failure to distinguish at what level the situation needs to be addressed (molehill, mountain or mountain range). Usually, beginning with the simplest solution and explanation is the most effective. Assuming a problem has “deep dish” causes and taking action at a level of major intervention can paradoxically make the problem worse.

A friend shared with me how stuck he felt regarding conflicts that would occur with his wife while driving together. What would normally be disagreements at home would lead to intense and painful arguments in the car. He couldn’t understand why the polarization occurred only in the context of the automobile. The simplest solution provided lasting results. After a few simple observations regarding power dynamics and emotional safety, he concluded not to discuss issues that could lead to an argument while driving together. A simple agreement on when and where to handle disagreements practically eliminated highly charged arguments.

The Winter Blues

2007-11-13T17:26:00.000-05:00

Winter Blues, Winter Depression, February Blahs, Mid December Funk are all common references to what is described clinically as Seasonal Affective Depression. Some folk experience a milder version that is sometimes referred to as Subsyndromal Seasonal Affective Disorder (another way to say borderline). The symptoms are very similar to Major Depression. The difference is that the blues and depression are triggered by the decreasing sunlight beginning in the fall and ending by late spring (variance depends on your sensitivity and geographical location).

Warning: Possible "TMI" (To Much Information)
There is still some debate regarding root causes, but research seems to be leaning towards the impact of decreasing sunlight on the Pineal Gland in the brain. Melatonin and Serotonin balances get out of whack and result in the symptoms listed below. About 5 % of the populations have full-blown SAD. Another 14% has enough symptoms to be listed as borderline. Most folk are probably feel the effects as lower energy levels.

My symptoms can range from very mild to moderate. I have found the use of Light Therapy (what my friend Larry calls his “grow light”) to be very effective. Energy, mental focus and positive mood increase usually within five days of sitting in front of the Light Box.
One informational Web Site list the symptoms are as follows…

· Sleep problems - oversleeping but not refreshed, can't get out of bed, afternoon nap needed
· Overeating - carbohydrate craving leading to weight gain
· Depression, despair, misery, guilt, anxiety - normal tasks become frustratingly difficult
· Family / social problems - avoiding company, irritability, loss of libido, loss of feeling
· Lethargy - too tired to cope, everything an effort
· Physical symptoms - often joint pain or stomach problems, lowered resistance to infection
· Behavioral problems - especially in young people

Below are web sites that will provide you with more information than you probably need. The two therapy lights that I have purchased over the years can be found at Apollo Lights (http://www.apollolights.com/).

Web Links
http://www.webmd.com/depression/tc/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad-topic-overview
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195
http://www.lumie.com/help/quick-guides/sad
http://www.normanrosenthal.com/
http://www.nosad.org/

The “Wow!” Factor

2007-10-15T18:03:00.000-04:00

It is time to sell my 36-year old trusted Sea Ray powerboat (a lovely pea soup green). If it were a car, it would be warmly referred to as a jalopy. This boat helped to launch my love affair with the ocean. Preparing to list my trusted 19-foot powerboat for sale triggers many fond memories with family and friends on the waters off of Cape Cod.

Several years ago I took some friends out for a trip over to Oaks Bluff. The crew included the free spirited captain (me), my equally fearless 10-year old son, his Sunday School teacher, her husband (who has “water issues”) and their studious 14-year-old son. My wife took one look at the seas and decided to stay home with our daughter (more about discernment in another blog).

As we neared Martha’s Vineyard, the seas were a little wobbly but not a big deal. Because of my love of the ocean and attraction to “adrenalin moments,” I have a fair amount of boating experience in difficult waters (particularly for someone who grew up on the plains of Kansas). As we were departing from the island, we encountered 12-foot waves running almost back-to-back (standing up, all I could see was a wall of water). Big waves are less threatening when they run further apart. These waves were running unusually close together. This means little time for corrections and adjustments before encountering the next wave.

As we engaged the first wave, I pushed the throttle forward to make sure we didn't take a one over the bow and swamp the boat. The old Sea Ray launched off that wave and went completely airborne. For a brief moment, it felt like we were suspended in air as if someone had hit the “pause” button. Then as quick as the press of a button, we dropped and the boat’s hull landed against the ocean with a jarring impact and spray of water. I let out an exhilarated "Wow!" The 14-year old standing on my left looked over at me and said, "This is way beyond Wow!"

Turning around to check in on the rest of my crew, I noticed that my son’s Sunday-School teacher was now the student, following his lead on how to stay inside the boat during rough seas. They were both hunkered down. Her husband Mike was sitting at the stern (backseat) looking surprisingly calm for someone who can’t swim. I wondered if he was numb with fear or living in a state of “ignorance is bliss.”

To my surprise, he later reported that he was just enjoying the ride. A buddy of mine who is a psychologist in New Jersey has written a short, simple and yet meaningful book entitled, “Enjoy The Ride” (Dr. Lee Monday, http://www.leemonday.com/) When I get around to my own book, it may be entitled “Embracing the Wow!” This story and Lee’s writing share in common the theme that life is a gift. When this gift is opened we share and experience joy, beauty and pleasure. Yes, there is pain, struggle and difficulty. But when we “embrace the wow” we find that moment of getting outside of ourselves where time stands still if for only a moment.

One of my favorite writers on Creation Spirituality calls this moment “ecstasy.” He writes, “Ecstasy is a memorable experience of forgetting oneself, of getting outside of oneself. Our ecstatic experiences are the memorable experiences of our lives. Ecstasy is our getting high, standing outside of ourselves if but for a brief moment – getting lost in time.” (Matthew Fox, Whee, We, wee All the Way Home…)

There are many natural divinely created paths to moments of ecstasy or wow: nature, friendship, intimacy, creating, sports, contemplation, travel, celebration and yes work as a labor of love. For others spiritual arts like service, prayer, fasting, meditation and study provide moments of grace

Anxiety, addictions, traumatic memories and depression are all conditions that can derail the capacity to see life as a gift. When feeling stuck, therapy can be a safe place to explore emotions, negative beliefs or memories as a way to get unstuck and discover what gives your life meaning and the capacity to “embrace the wow!”

Emotional Freedom

2007-10-01T17:17:00.000-04:00

Wow! Seems like I should be able to come up with something more sophisticated, but that captures how I feel following four days of training at the "Boston Masters EFT Showcase." EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, http://www.emofree.com/. Click on the above video for EFT success stories and a brief explanation for how it works.

EFT is an amazing technique for providing positive emotional and mental shifts. At the very least, it is highly effective in providing stress relief. When applied effectively it can heal fears, anxieties and traumatic memories. In my personal life, it is my “go to” mind, body and spirit healing technique. In over twenty years of practice as a Family Therapist it is the most effective tool that I consistently “reach for” in my work.

Two and a half years ago I went to an EFT training event in Arlington Ma. led by therapists Caitlin Williams and Steve Joseph (http://www.energytherapyassociates.com/). I arrived very skeptical but open minded. When it was my turn to be the “client,” I chose to target a bundle of painful memories while counseling relief workers at Ground Zero following 9.11.

To gain first hand experience and practice, we broke off into pairs. Terry and I drove up together from Rhode Island, so we decided to be each others guinea pig. He asked me to rate my “disturbance” on a scale from one to ten. It felt pretty mild so I said 5. When we started tapping and saying the phrase “Even though I have this Ground Zero memory” the lid came off the “memory box.” My body could feel the jolt as it jumped up to a 10! That spike in intensity was very unexpected. Three times we repeated the phrase, “Even though I have this Ground Zero memory, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Within thirty seconds of tapping the EFT recipe “this painful memory” I could feel a major shift and relief. A second set reduced the emotional intensity to zero. “This is too fast, too painless and too easy,” I proclaimed. I dared my colleague to, “provoke me and test the results.” Terry is a good therapist, after several attempts he managed to provoke some intensity up to a three. I was down to a zero for good even before we finished with the setup phrase.

After observing several other participants clear out difficult issues with similar results, I was hooked. By the end of the day, I was highly impressed with the elegance, simplicity and outstanding results from this new technique.

You can read about EFT, but the best way to measure your results is to try it out firsthand.

Making Changes

2007-09-17T15:25:00.000-04:00

Autumn and two teenagers in High School for the first time has stimulated my thoughts about change. Changes are constant. Sometimes it seems like “it” is happening to us. When we face change we are challenged to discern what to “grab on to” and what to “let go of.” My kids might say I am struggling to let go of asking to many questions (my perception is that I am trying to stay connected). Admittedly it is an occupational hazard. Most three year olds eventually out grow the phase of rapid-fire questions. I didn’t. Lucky for me that is in part what I do for a living. I help folk to get “unstuck” or to create positive changes and questions are an inevitable part of that process.

Asking questions leads to knowledge which can help to “connect the life dots.” Making sense of things can lead to new actions which can result in positive changes (at least that is one on ramp for making change happen).

Have you ever wondered about the process of change and why it is so difficult to sustain change through sheer will power? There are a few folk like my father who experience making change as a matter of simply making a choice. He describes the process of stopping smoking as simply making a choice and sticking to it. Long before Nike made the phrase popular, his motto was “just do it.” Unfortunately, I didn’t inherit the “just do it” gene.

For most of us exerting our will power will result in short term changes but fails to sustain significant changes in the long run. Making change happen is about setting goals (in writing), building in support systems and getting out of your own way. The following research might help you to understand the change process and where you are located in the phases of change.

Three clinical psychologists from the Rhode Island area conducted a study to discover if there was any structure to the process of making change happen. What they discovered is that “self changers” who were able to reach their goals and sustain them went through six stages. James O. Prochaska, John C. Norcross and Carlo C. DiClemente authored a book entitled “Changing for Good: The Revolutionary Program That Explains the Six Stages of Change and Teaches You How To Free Yourself From Bad Habits.” The stages are roughly as follows:

1. Precontemplation – “Get off my back!” Folk confront you with the need to change but you feel helpless or aren’t ready.

2. Contemplation – “I want to stop feeling so stuck.” You desire change but aren’t quite ready.

3. Preparation – “I’ll start tomorrow.” You know change is best, but you’re not sure how to begin.

4. Action – “Here I go.” Life is often exhilarating, sometimes terrifying. So is change. This is the time to learn the methods needed for change and to get the support you need.

5. Maintenance – “Keep moving forward!” You are know reaping the rewards of change but are concerned with relapse. You need to create a plan for dealing with slips and lapses in order to achieve long-term success.

6. Termination – “Home free!” Maintaining change is effortless: no temptations, total confidence.

I have found it helpful to place myself on this roadmap for change. It is easy to think that you in are in the action phase only to discover the reality of being stuck in endless “preparation.” Hope you find this research helpful in finding your path to making change happen.

“Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”
Gospel of John 8:32 – 1st Century Blogger

The Way We Learn

2007-09-06T17:05:00.000-04:00

With my kids back in school, I am reminded of a book written by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, “The Way They Learn.” It is describes learning styles and suggest customized homework environments according to personality type. It is a good read for gaining some valuable information how kids learn, perceive and comprehend our world (we can all benefit for that matter).

In her book she writes about the startling discovery in World War II made by the United States
Navy. They discovered a critical difference amongst their fighter pilots even though they were of equal intelligence, extremely motivated, rigidly screened, and thoroughly trained. When flying through the fog bank, some of these pilots would fly out of the mist upside down. This seemed to be a problem for some of the higher-ranking officials within the Navy.

They called in psychological researcher Herman Witkin who conducted various tests and discovered a critical difference amongst the pilots. The pilots that came out of the fog flying right side up, tended to process information in an analytic fashion (see definitions below). They automatically broke down any information in component parts and focused on the details. The other pilots tended to approach information in a global way. They got the overall picture or “gist” of things, but didn’t worry about the details as much. Remember, they were equal in IQ, the only difference was in how they naturally processed information.

There are hundred’s of ways to label personality and learning styles. The point isn’t to compartmentalize folk; rather it is to increase better communication, understanding and to clearly help folk discover their gifts and passions. On a good day when I get annoyed with someone’s “point of view” on particular topic, I try to remind myself to step back and understand how that person’s way of perceiving and understanding is different than my own.

In Family Therapy speak we call this “bystanding.” It is taking that stance of observing and listening without reacting. Imagine having a conversation where you aren’t allowed to state your point of view until you have communicated clearly that you completely understand your partner’s position. You can only speak to your opinion after you hear the words “You Get It.” The method of communicating might seem tedious and drawn out, but it provides for deeper connection and understanding.

Different Styles of Understanding and Learning

Analytic (Field Independent) - details, focus, organization, remembering specifics, direct answers, consistency, sense of justice, objectivity, individual competition, doing one thing at a time
Global (Field Dependent) - seeing the big picture, seeing relationships, cooperating in group efforts, reading between the line, sense of fairness, seeing many options, paraphrasing, doing several things at once, giving and receiving praise, reading body language, getting others involved.